Sunday, September 3, 2006

Leaving Austin...for good.


Ohhhh boy. Well I am back in NYC today and EXHAUSTED!!! So first, I just wanna say sorry to all my Texas peeps that I missed this time around. I was more busy than I ever expected, but the training went well and I think, no, I KNOW Saralynn will be an amazing instructor. Expanding my business out of NYC is extremely frightening to me, but I am trying to embrace it.
This trip was so difficult on so many levels, and I have to say I am relieved to be home. Yes, home. I realized this time around more than ever before that this is home now. This is where my life is, and this is where I would stay. I cried when I landed in Texas, right there in the airport. Things seemed so different than every other time I had been home, I say home because that is what I called Austin when I recalled this story to my friends.


But back to my story, I actually cried as I walked off of the plane into the sunshine of the Lone Star state. I thought, wait ...don't I usually cry when I leave? What am I doing I asked myself. Why am I crying? I was dreading this trip ...never before was I fearful to come back "home" but this time I had butterflies when I landed. Expanding, waiting, hoping, longing, loving, losing, begging, ....crying, wishing, accepting.....all of these things flowing in and out.
I mean I know the surface reason why I shed a few tears, but really it was because I knew somewhere inside than when I returned to that airport in 10 days it would be to finally really leave Austin.
And I did, not willingly mind you, but I did, and I think I will probably cry again, but for now, I am OK.

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