OK!!! You want the truth?...it was 10. Yes, I danced for 10 yrs. I used to say over 6, and the 8 because it sounded like I had danced for a long time, enough to know my stuff, but it didn't look like I was a lifer. But I was. I guess, I AM. It was who I was. It has made me who I am. Yep, 18-29, with like a year in there that I tried not to dance by taking up some really crappy other jobs. I never planned on dancing for 10 yrs. No one does. It just happens. But, this company saved me. You all saved me:). Teaching you gave me the strength to leave. The strength to move forward to leave the past behind.
Sometimes we get into something, a job, a relationship, and it is good....REALLY good. Then it gets bad. But we get so scared, of having to find the new job, the new relationship, newness is so frightening sometimes. So scary that we stay in what is bad. Because we tell ourselves, "Hey, it's not that bad right? I mean, it could be worse. It's not like ...blah, blah, blah." Then we see how much time has gone by. That makes it even scarier. But some times you have to make the leap. Leap forward off the cliff of monotony and failure and pained comfort.
That initial free fall is f'in scary! Your arms flail about and your stomach comes up into your throat and you think, "Holy crap, what did I just do?!!!?" But then the falling slows and you land and you're still here...all in one piece.. and the scenery is new and hey, this isn't that bad after all. New is fun and exciting! Why the hell did I wait this long?
So yeah, I danced for a looong time. And yes, I was ashamed. Part of me still is. But I have turned a new page. I have flipped the script! It wasn't all a waste. And I couldn't be happier with my newness.
Sometimes we get into something, a job, a relationship, and it is good....REALLY good. Then it gets bad. But we get so scared, of having to find the new job, the new relationship, newness is so frightening sometimes. So scary that we stay in what is bad. Because we tell ourselves, "Hey, it's not that bad right? I mean, it could be worse. It's not like ...blah, blah, blah." Then we see how much time has gone by. That makes it even scarier. But some times you have to make the leap. Leap forward off the cliff of monotony and failure and pained comfort.
That initial free fall is f'in scary! Your arms flail about and your stomach comes up into your throat and you think, "Holy crap, what did I just do?!!!?" But then the falling slows and you land and you're still here...all in one piece.. and the scenery is new and hey, this isn't that bad after all. New is fun and exciting! Why the hell did I wait this long?
So yeah, I danced for a looong time. And yes, I was ashamed. Part of me still is. But I have turned a new page. I have flipped the script! It wasn't all a waste. And I couldn't be happier with my newness.
1 comment:
hey thanks for posting this (like a year later, lol). i'm about to take a big leap myself and am scaaaaaaaaared, lol! but like you said, i'm going to keep in mind that when the falling slows down, i won't be as scared and i'll look forward to welcoming all the newness in my life. of course, i'll still be able to keep aspects of my life that i want to hold on to and make them fit in with the new stuff. so, thanks for putting this into words ;-)
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