....StripXpertease.... The Strip and the Tease.: March 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dang it!

I totally put in the wrong link..THIS is joel's routine...

Lelo ...lovely

So what do you picture when you think of vibrators?

The streotypical wand or penis shaped mass of vibrating joy. When then you haven't seen vibrator art. That is what Lelo is to me. It is just so nice to look at, so chic, and modern. They have stuff for gals, guys and even 18K gold dildos. Fancy.

http://en.lelo.com/index.php?collectionName=femme

You GO Kim Kardashian...we all have cellulite!

So Kim has a dimple or two ..and they photo-shop it out. True for soooo many celebs as I have referenced here before.
http://www.stripxpertease.com/2009/03/is-beauty-in-eye-of-photoshopper.html
But what I dig is her response to it all...the leaking of the real and photoshopped pics from a recent shoot.
the news article: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/entertainment/Kardashian-Proud-of-Junk-in-her-Trunk.html
her blog: http://kimkardashian.celebuzz.com/2009/03/yes-i-am-complex.php

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I just don't know what to say..

2011. I have to update this post with a big apology. Joel is not joke. I was completely wrong. Rock on Joel...

And he even created a routine...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Sometimes you just get too excited... right?

So, guys, has this happened to you? This is a SNL short and I think it is toooo funny.

Jizzed in my Pants

http://www.hulu.com/watch/47604/saturday-night-live-digital-short-j-in-my-pants

Friday, March 27, 2009

Now underage exhibitionists are sex offenders?!?!

Saw this news link today. And I don't agree with it either.
Now underage gals (and boys I assume) who get a little too racy with their own pic uploads on myspace and such can get convicted of child pornography and then have to register as sex offenders in their counties. This is just wrong. Where are the parents?!? And myspace? I have a million thoughts on this like well, she was posting the pics for her BF, kinda cute. But then she should have done it in private. The I think she is only 14, but then I think back to my days at 14, and exploring my newly found sexuality. Then I think, well how racy were these pics? Who knows? I feel that kids just burst into adult hood with no chaperones, no guides, no one to tell them how to feel or how to act except peers. Parents have "the talk" and then check out. What can we do? What can we come up with to help teens make the right decisions ..decisions that don't always lead to abstinence... because I do feel they should be able to explore their sexuality with loving partners prior to marriage. I don't know but this poor girl needs someone to help her..to 'guide' her through this part of her life. She doesn't need to be punished.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Girl-Charged-With-Child-Porn-for-Posting-Nude-Pics-of-Self.html

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Now that I'm on Twitter...

This made me laugh..

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

20 quotes..from the staaahhs

Sex quotes from the stars..funny.

http://www.bannedinhollywood.com/twenty-great-sex-quotes/

The BF sent this quote. :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Find me on Twitter!!

Ok..I joined the masses!
http://twitter.com/StripXpertease
tweet tweet!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Jesus is watching...

http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist.54930969
they have a whole line of these...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Words with God...

So far today I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card. But I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I think that I will really need your help then.

someone sent that to me..thought it was funny..

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Read this if you want to do me....

This is too awesome! Wanna use the swing but can't ask? Wanna get tied up, but too shy to verbalize? Wanna have a 3some but cant get the words out? Think your partner kisses too sloppy? Find your partner doesn't touch you just right?

Then this is for you!

Product Description: ( from Amazon) This fill-out-book is designed to give your partner a clue, and to give you a great time in bed. Have you ever wished for a partner that knew exactly how you wanted it in bed, without actually having to talk about it? Or that you could speed up that whole process of “getting to know each other” when you’ve met someone new? Have you ever wished to get directly to the point, and not have to explain and hope the other person gets what you really mean. Everybody has their favorites and their least favorite moves, sensitive parts in different places, turn-ons and turn-offs. Now finally you can get what you want. • These are names I have for my private parts • When we are kissing, I like: • Been caught having sex Y/N • These are the positions I’ve tried. • I’m rating each one from 1-5, 1 meaning I would rather poke a stick in my eye, and 5 meaning I could do this breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Friday, March 20, 2009

more vibrator mishaps involvingthe po-po

I wonder if the ever gave the package to its rightful owner?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22688065/

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Stick 'em up!!!....or I'll make you cum.

This retard actually held up a store with a rabbit vibrator...You can't make this stuff up folks.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/aug/20/ukcrime

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Umm yeah, this rocks.

http://www.blacklabeladultshop.com/products/the_raspberry_ring/231/1

You just have to try it. You realllly really really have to try it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Feel the rhythm

You can dance to music, sing to it and now, you can get off to it..

What will they think of next?

The ohMiBod vibrator... (from their website)

OhMiBod is a sleek, sophisticated new generation of vibrator that combines elegance of design with the excitement of your favorite music. The audio enabled integrated microchip allows the OhMiBod ipod massager to vibrate to the beat and rhythm of your music while you listen. Measures 5 1/2" long (insertable) and 1 1/8" in diameter. OhMiBod comes with an additional multi-speed endcap for use without an iPod or music player. It really is 2 products in one! Our motor provides strong yet quiet, intense rhythmic vibrations. With polished chrome detail and pearl white body this product is the ultimate iPod acsexsory!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Fantasies..

I recently had a client talking about a specific fantasy that she wanted to do with her husband. He wasn't into it. Funny enough, I had another client that came to me because that was the fantasy she and her man were planning. It was the one when the girl meets the guy in the bar, they pretend that they don't know each other and then he picks her up and takes her to a hotel room. Hot.

I was sad for her that her husband didn't want to participate in her fantasy. I also had a client tell me recently she surprised her husband when he came home with a hot french maid outfit and he thought it was stupid. What s wrong with these guys? Then I started to think about my fantasies, things I wanted to do that had never done.

At first, I drew a blank. I had actually done a lot of them already. The first thing I thought of was every man's fantasy, the 3some. But I had done that, Although I had not been with two men. I am not sure if it is a fantasy, but it would be fun. And although it was discussed and researched, I never went to a swingers bar, which I think would be awesome. Don't know if I would participate but just to go. I have watched other people have sex, and not accidentally or in a porn. I was asked to watch, so I said hell, why not! Although it wasn't quite what I expected. But in a club I think it would be different. Hmmmm..maybe I will never know.

Have any of you recently lived out your wildest fantasy?

Tell me!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

You've got mail...I gave you gonorrhea

Soooo you gave someone a std...and now you gotta tell them...but you don't wanna tell them. Inspot to the rescue. http://www.inspot.org/Home.aspx?regionid=45&sitelvl=1 Seriously. You can send someone an anonymous email telling them you have a std..wow. Several cards to choose from. Including a Spanish version. Muey bien!