Done...

So I just did it. I took the ole' profile down off of Match.com. At the end of April I got one of those results from your saved searches email that they send out. And there he was, this super cutie (oh, this is #4 by the way http://www.stripxpertease.com/2008/05/i-countedover-150.html )...but, I was a little older than what he was looking for ....by about 4 yrs.

Eh, fuck it I said. And I sent the wink. And apparently he almost didn't respond back because I was ...oh boy...too old.

It doesn't seem to be an issue now. Since we met we have spent a LOT of time together. And I adore him. However, I still get emails from guys all the time. So I decided to just remove my profile. One: because it's kinda unfair. It's unfair for anyone I think to leave a profile on match when you are not interested in using the site. Also, as I just said, for now, I am not interested in using the site. I am really into this guy. Hmmm. He needs a name I guess. We'll call him Mr. Weiss (That will make Puck and Big D laugh anyhow).

Yep, I'm content with Mr. Weiss. And I hope he is content with me.

Funny Match.com stories

So someone sent this to me yesterday morning ....
From Match. Which of course lists shows your profile but not your name or email address.

Date received: June 11, 2008
Subject: i saw you in class
well, i peeked throught the doors at the old empire studios. i was taking argentine tango there. good luck...maybe you lucked out already...

Funny. Empire is where I used to teach the Stripper Strength class for the past 2 yrs before they closed down and shuffled us over to YSBD. I have run into friends on Match before. I am like a 100% percent match (this is based on the basic stuff you are looking for in a partner, ie: height, education, smoking habits, etc)with my roommate, who has also been my best friend for the past 11 yrs, so I send him winks and emails all the time... I'm sure it annoys him but I think it's funny as hell. I was also a 100% percent match with an old film buddy of mine.

I counted...over 150...

That's how many times I was contacted in just one month on Match.com. That's my profile pic by the way. This is why I was telling a recent girlfriend, you have to get on!!! Now, lady!! She is this amazing girl in this weird situation, which I can't really explain here. But she needs to find a man. Someone to appreciate her for who she is dammit!

So, how many did I respond to in that month, which was the 2nd to last month I had on Match(well, before they fucking auto renewed me)?
Two.
Yep. Well, in total, there were five guys I had correspondence with. Three that I had contacted first (I'm such a go-getter!) and two that contacted me first. I went out with 4 of them in that one month period (one of them stopped emailing me after a few exchanges...eh, who knows?).

So, here's how it played out..or how it's currently playing out...

• #1, who I contacted first, dropped me after 2 dates (I've briefly discussed him before... the second date got hot and heavy and he said he wanted to take it further but I wanted to wait. We had plans for Sunday and he never returned my calls. Nice.)



• I dropped #2, who again I contacted, after one date and many (waayyyy too many) IMs and phone calls. But to be fair, we made plans for a second date and he said he didn't realize we had made plans on the evening that we had plans, even though we had talked about it a few times before, turn off number one. Also, he was one of handful of musicians I reached out to in some masochistic effort to be driven away from match in disgust, semi-turn off number two. And he constantly analyzed our relationship, like really, a play by play thing, even though we had only been out once, yet another turn off. And he wanted to talk on the phone and IM all the time. I was looking for a relationship, not a pen pal. And as far as rescheduling a second date we couldn't even begin to get our schedules right. By the way he contacted me again, so to be fair I emailed him telling him I was seeing someone else and it wasn't gonna work. And I was very nice I might add. But I just got his very nasty response in email and in text. I am soooo biting my tongue on my description of him right now. Lord! We might have to save this for another entry.



• And #3, well, I liked him and we went out once. He contacted me. He had a crazy work schedule so it was hard to meet and not to long ago he asked me out again. I have to tell you ....and I regretted it as soon as I did it, but I said yes. I said yes because I was scared to death not to. Because you see, the other one, #4, who I contacted,... well... I'm still seeing him. And I really like this guy. But after the boy I am really scared of being hurt. I mean the can't breathe-eyes glued shut-stomach in your feet-cold sweat scared. I guess we all are in a sense. But this is the first time in a long time that I have really liked someone. And holy cow, it is scary stuff, because you want to put your self out there but then again you feel like you have to be guarded and safe. I felt like I needed to keep my options open in case #4 didn't work out. But after a sleepless night I realized that if I did really like #4 then I had to give it a chance without any distractions. And I do like him, so much, so I told #3 that I had to cancel, and that I couldn't see him for a second date, and I explained why. I felt bad...he's a really nice guy. And he responded back very nicely ...unlike someone else!
  

So we'll see. I am opening myself up, no back up plan, no back up man. I feel like my last relationship was so completely fucked up that anything that even slightly resembles normal is fantastic. But I'm definitely still playing goalie...

So for now I'm not responding to any more Match responses. But I still have a few stories to share. I just won't have any new ones for a while (...hell, I hope!). Seriously, what am I gonna talk about in the Wed. night Stripper Strength class...lol. But I still have a few old stories to share. Oh yeah, recently got an email from Simon. Can't wait to tell you about that one.

Dating advice from a single guy.

So this guy has a lot of dating advice...esp for those onliners.

http://www.advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/

He says some interesting things, especially about the "trading up" phenom that happens with online dating, also how its easier for girls. His readers also have some good advice as well.

By the way, Match goddamn auto-renewed me. Bastards. I feel like I should show you gals some of these replies I get ... I mean they are bad. OK, this is my favorite recent one. Keep in mind I actually state that I own my own business teaching striptease on my profile.

Hi,
I saw your profile and was very interested in getting to know you. So how are you doing? Are you enjoying the weather? I see that you're an active person; do you like to dance Latin music or travel to Latin America? Born/growing up in New York, I first learned Spanish from my parents at home and English as soon as I went to kindergarten.
Wow, you run your own PR business! You know I worked my senior year in college as an office assistant in a PR firm. I did office work part time, my major was finance and investments.
What else can I tell you about myself? Ok, I work for an Investment Bank in Wall Street and live in Manhattan. I like to go out with friends, mainly lounges but once in a while I'll hit the dance floor. Also, I enjoy working out and bike riding around the city to keep fit. If you would you like to chat and learn more about me, then write me back.
Later,

Hmmm, my own PR business...yeah.

Match.com and internet dating...more tidbits

Yay! Some of you are signing up! So for those first timers I have a top ten list for you. OK. So from several bad dates and a handful of good ones. Here is the top 10 reasons that I would hit delete on a profile of someone that has contacted me, or someone I see in a search. By the way, my membership is soon running out, so this might be the last of them ladies...

1. No picture...yep, sure you are witty, nice, and can show a girl a good time, but when we meet you look like Steve Buscemi. And I am sorry Steve, you're just not my type.







2. Only one picture. You still look like Steve Buscemi, but you found and posted the one picture with that angle that makes you look like Brad Pitt.







3. Guys that live too far away....no, I am sorry, it simply won't work. I need to be able to just meet up with you on a whim and it won't work if you live in Westchester. (Austin gals, this is like your dude living in Round Rock if you live in Westlake.)







4. Guys that profiles make me say,"well, maaaayybe." I have learned that my gut is right! If you think he could maybe work out, it won't. There are sooo many guys on these sites!! Only communicate with ones that you really feel drawn to.







5. Listing how much money you make, especially of it is over 6 figures. That's gross.







6. Men that email before reading my profile or reading what I am looking for OR ones that do and say ..I know you don't want a guy in Westchester, but hey I live in Westchester.... No! That is what the likes and dislikes section is for. That is the beauty of this. You can just put it out there. I don't like guys who are A, B, & C. So if you are A,B, or C, then just pass me over. ...It really is simple. (But oookay, to go against this, I have done the whole wink thing to guys who were looking for women younger than myself...but generally, if the say they dont want A and I am A, I don't try to reach out.)







7. Men who list the age range they prefer as up to 10 yrs younger, but never-ever-ever-EVER anyone older than themselves. Like a 32 yr old looking for women 22-32. Or a 36 yr old looking for 24-35. Yuck. ( see #7.. )






8. Men that list sarcasm as a turnoff. (which is one of the 10 or so odd things you can say are or aren't turn ons) You are turned off by sarcasm...really?






9. The freaking form letter email. God I hate this one. Put in a liiiiiittttttle effort, k?






10. And lastly, this is just me here. But guys with pictures of themselves and babies and kids. I get it, you like kids, but this just seems like you are trying too hard. Like all women wanna have babies and seeing you with your baby niece makes my ovaries yearn for you. On the flip side my friend hates when they have pics with other girls...esp hot girls. That doesn't bother me though.

And of course I used to delete all musicians, but I 've come around on that one, for now. We'll see.


Good luck ladies!

Match.com...an update

Well, I can't say it's all been roses. But I have learned about myself, why I am dating, and what I want. Look, I am sooooo not looking to get married and have kids, I just want a best friend, who I can be intimate with. A partner in crime, a shoulder to lean on, someone to take care of, some to love and love me. Someone to dance for!!!

So...the names have been changed....to protect the innocent and the plain stupid (PETER!)

So, lets see, the first time I signed up, my first date was with a shrink, lets call him Oscar. Intelligent, sexy, mysterious. We did the whole long email exchange, talk on the phone thing, and then set up a coffee date. The first thing he said on the date turned me off. He said he didn't get why people went to see live music....umm, yeah, see ya. It ended there.

Then I met another dude, for coffee...forgot his name. He went to Burning Man a lot which I thought was awesome, but I wasn't drawn to him, so it ended there. Then I met a fellow entrepreneur, let's call him Sonny. He was nice, good looking, driven, but lived in Staten Island, which was just too far and the chemistry felt forced. There was a second date, but not a third. Then there was Marc. Great first date, but he was too touchy-feely, and it killed it for me. I had a couple other uneventful 1st dates... one with a guy who reminded me of the ex..nooo, and one that made the first move a bit forced, so it turned me off. I suppose I wasn't that into any of these guys or maybe I just wasn't ready.

Those were all from my first time with Match/eharm, went back to "the boy" and ended my accounts. Of course, as you know, things ended again, so I went back, armed with a better knowledge of how it worked and what I wanted too. The first guy I met, we'll call Simon. We met the night before Valentine's Day on a whim, we hung out for hourrrs, had a lot in common including an obsession with a very cheesy yet AMAZING TV show, which I will not reveal. He asked me out again on V-day and I was on cloud nine. We had a whirlwind first week and he told me he wanted to take his profile down off of match. I freeeeaaked. Was I ready for that? I told him it freaked me out, and we still saw a lot of each other after that, but I think it was the beginning of the end. Not to mention he was never available due to crazy work hours. He was the first man I slept with since leaving the boy. Hell the first since I moved to NY, besides "the boy." Let me tell you, that was a HUGE step. Any how, after a month and a half it just fizzled out. I fought it for a bit, but then gave in. He was a really nice guy and I really hope he finds a girl that works for him. It obviously wasn't me.

So when things started to get weird with Simon. I started talking to other men. I figured he was dating other people , so why shouldn't I? I met Jack, he was older, in amazing shape, and a ton of fun. I felt as if I had known him for years. He just didn't have a care in the world. It was sooo refreshing! At the same time I also met Peter. Peter I really liked. He was handsome, extremely sexy, daring, an amazing kisser, smart, really into music, in fact used to work in the industry, but NOT a musician (YAY!). By the way, for those that don't know, "the boy" was a musician. So, we had an amazing week with several dates and then I had to leave town for a week. When I came back, he blew me off. Maybe its because I didn't sleep with him. Suuuucked. And Jack, well I still don't know what happened with Jack. For all I know we are still dating...lol. It was weird, but I know it would never really work out with him anyway because he is allergic to dogs. Yeah, not gonna work. I would love to be friends though, he really is a lot of fun. I met one other guy that I liked as well, but after two dates it ended...again after saying I wasn't ready to sleep with him...hmmm... pattern?

So, knowing my account was running out at the end of May, I decided to give it one-more-shot. I will not reveal all that is happening at the moment, but let's just say I am just going with the flow and I am pretty content. I just don't want to get my hopes up anymore only to be blown off. But I met another boy, no, I shouldn't say boy...man, I met a man.

You see, I decided after "the boy," NO MORE MUSICIANS, hell, no more artists, period! But that is who I love...and dammit, those are the ones who always break my heart. So, in my last month I set out to try one last stab at an "artist." (Something I had avoided like the plague. In fact, if I saw a guy with a picture of himself playing any kind of instrument, I immediately deleted!). I think I was subconsciously thinking it would end badly and it give me a reason give up on dating for a while. And so in my search I actually met an "artist." And so far, I like him. I really do. And so, yes, he plays an instrument...whatever! I am just so tired of being hurt. I can feel I am a little more closed, more guarded, more reluctant, but we will see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Match.com and internet dating...part I

Since this is something I have been discussing a lot with you gals lately in class, I thought I would talk more about it here. Because you single gals really need to jump on this ride!!

Yes, as most of you who I see often know, after 10 years of on again off again, things are finally really over with "The Boy"....yep, the boy from Texas. So, I am dating again. And let me tell you, it ain't easy! But since I starting dabbling it has gotten easier. And due to the busy life I lead I have been sticking to internet dating, which again, hasn't been easy. But after a year of on again off again on this ride, I have figured out a few things and have finally gotten the hang of it.

Here is how it all started...

So, things starting souring with the boy in late summer of '06. And I was like screw this, I am dating other people! But due to the stresses of StripXpertease I had negative free time. Also, meeting guys in a bar was always weird for me. This was typical:

We meet, he buys me a drink, we chat, and then this happens...
him: so what do you do for work?
me: (internally: oh shit here we go...) well, I uh, teach dance.
him: oh yeah, that's cool. like hip hop or like tango...
me: i teach women (internally: can i really avoid any further questions?)
him: oh yeah? what exactly?
me: (internally: guess not!) I teach umm striptease.
him: wow (with like a head nod and a good look up and down) that's cool.
me:(internally: please don't ask how i got into it)
him: so, how did you get into it?
me: (internally: of course!) well, i used to be a dancer.
him: ohh, like that kind of dancer
me: yep, like that kind of dancer.

And then ladies, it just gets weird. Their demeanor would change and you know it was just awkward for me. So I said OK, bar scene is weird, and I don't have time for it anyway, so what is a girl to do? Then there was one of those E-harmony commercials. I thought OK!! My roomie said that because the sign up process was long and it cost on a monthly basis that I should give it a shot. That there should be quality guys. I said, I am in and joined the masses of daters in September of '06.

Let me just tell you, E-harmony majorly sucked for me. I will tell you more about that later. But during my E-harm run, a close friend had signed up with Match.com. She said it was like shopping, but for boys. She said you can look and look and try on, but you don't really have to buy. Well hell, I love shopping, so in December '06 I signed up for a 6 month run on Match. Again, it was terrible. I met one guy that I actually liked and it quickly became totally f*&^ed up. I mean, ....well ...that will have to be another story. Anyhow, I ended up patching things up with The Boy, realizing that the dating world sucked and none of them could compare to him anyway (yeah, yeah, f'in hindsight).

Well almost 1 yr to the day of the first major problem with The Boy that sent me running to e-harm, there came a second one, last summer. In my heart, this one could not be forgiven. We tumbled along until ....well, again another story. Any-who, right as the last sparks were dying and the painfully lonely holidays were rolling through I got an email from Match. It said 6 months for the price of one. I said screw it, lets give it one more go. And it has been really amazing! I haven't gone on a ton of dates yet, but the ones I have have been great and I have met some men that I really like. There is one in particular, but again, more on that later. I think I have learned how to use the system and how to meet guys that will end up not being jackholes. Guys that I will actually like and that will hopefully like me. I will tell you all more about what I have learned, but for now single gals sign your ass up, and I will be in touch about my latest adventures on the search for Mr. Right...or at least Mr. right now :).