Songs to Strip to... September & August list

complete list
Back To Black 4:03 Amy Winehouse Back To Black
Bed 4:27 J. Holiday www.cicana.com
Breathe Me 6:24 Sia DanceHits
buttons 3:46 Pussy Cat Dolls PCD
Chocolate 5:01 Kylie Minogue Body Language
Closer 4:05 Floetry Flo'Ology (Advance) 100
Closer To My Dreams 4:45 India Arie Voyage to India 100
Glory Box 5:06 Portishead Dummy
Ice Box 4:46 OMarion 100
jazz music 3:33 De Phazz Cafe del Mar
Let It Go 5:16 Keyshia Cole http://kevipodmusic.blogspot.com/
mad about you 3:46 Hooverphonic
Music 4:04 Leela James
Ride A White Horse 4:32 Goldfrapp Supernature
Sexelevatormuzic 5:16 Thievery Corporation
Sexy Boy 4:58 Air
Whatever You Like 3:55 Nicole Scherzinger shai_55

complete list
Anonymous Bobby V 4:55 Special Occasion
Beauty In The Breakdown Frou Frou 4:16
Breathe In Frou Frou 4:28 Details 100
Call Me Tweet 2:57 Southern Hummingbird(Advance)-
I Belong to You Lenny Kravitz 4:18 5
In The Waiting Line Zero 7 4:32 Garden State Soundtrack 100
is this real Lisa hall 4:56 Practical Magic Soundtrack
It Could Be Sweet Portishead 4:20 Dummy
luxurious Gwen Stefani 4:24 zone 4 remix
Me and You Cassie 3:12 100
Nobody Loves Me Portishead 4:11
Numb Sia 4:40 Colour The Small One
Say Yes Floetry 4:28 Floetic 100
Tear In Your Hand Tori Amos 4:39 Little Earthquakes
That's the Way Love Goes Janet Jackson 4:27
This Is Why I'm Hot M.I.M.S. 4:15 M.I.M.S. (Music Is My Savior)
Upgrade You Beyonce 4:33
your love is one in a million Aaliya 4:32 100
Your My Flavor Lenny Kravitz 3:49 5 80

Songs to Strip to. More more more I, II, & III

original list
your love is one in a milion Aaliya 4:32 100
Forever Love Anna Nalick 3:14
Heaven Bryan Adams 4:02 So Far So Good
Jungle Fever The Chakachas 4:20 Boogie Nights
Trouble Coldplay 4:32 Parachutes 100
Enchantment Corrine Bailey Rae 3:58
All is Full of Love Death Cab for Cutie 3:18 The Photo Album (Limited Bonus
Champagne From a Paper Cup Death Cab For Cutie 2:39 something about airplanes
Dangerously In Love Destinys Child 5:06 Survivor 100
Come Undone Duran Duran 4:35
Giving Something He Can Feel EnVogue 3:58 Funky Divas
father figure George micheal 5:41
Black Cherry Goldfrapp 4:56 Black Cherry-ADVANCE 100
luxurious Gwen Stefani 4:24 zone 4 remix
Come Here Boy Imogen Heap 3:58 I Megaphone 100
Quicksand Incubus 2:13 Light Grenades
Everybody Here Wants You Jeff Buckley 4:44 Sketches For My Sweetheart The
HEY JOE JIMMY HENDRIX 3:22
When You Love Somebody Leela James 4:34 A Change Is Gonna Come
Music Leela James 4:04
Bad Girl Madonna 5:23 Erotica
Justify My Love Madonna 4:57 60
Rain Madonna 5:25
what it feels like for a girl Madonna 4:48
protection Massive Attack 7:51
Teardrop Massive attack 5:25 100
Beautiful Me'shell Ndegeocello 2:41
Say It Right Nelly Furtado 3:43 Loose
Thinking About You Norah Jones 3:19
Glory Box Portishead 5:06 Dummy
It Could Be Sweet Portishead 4:20 Dummy
Numb Portishead 4:00 Dummy
Only You Portishead 5:02
Always In My Head Psapp 3:26 100
No Ordinary Love Sade 7:20
Mississippi Train 5:07 Drops of Jupiter 100
Ain't No Sunshine Van Morrison 2:03


II

original list
It Ends Tonight The All-American Rejects 4:05
Forever Love Anna Nalick 3:14
Another drink of whiskey breedlove 4:36 reach out 60
Heaven Bryan Adams 4:02 So Far So Good
Mouth Bush 4:33
Trouble Coldplay 4:32 Parachutes 100
Choux pastry heart Corinne Bailey Rae 3:57 100
Enchantment Corrine Bailey Rae 3:58
All is Full of Love Death Cab for Cutie 3:18 The Photo Album (Limited Bonus
Champagne From a Paper Cup Death Cab For Cutie 2:39 something about airplanes
Nothing's Impossible Depeche Mode 4:21 2005 - Playing The Angel 100
Dangerously In Love Destinys Child 5:06 Survivor 100
Giving Something He Can Feel EnVogue 3:58 Funky Divas
Father figure George micheal 5:41
Come Here Boy Imogen Heap 3:58 I Megaphone 100
Everybody Here Wants You Jeff Buckley 4:44 Sketches For My Sweetheart The
HEY JOE JIMMY HENDRIX 3:22
Sunday Morning Lily Allen 5:09
Erotica Madonna 5:19 Erotica
Bad Girl Madonna 5:23 Erotica
Substitute For Love Madonna 5:11 Madonna - Ray Of Light
wWat it feels like for a girl Madonna 4:48
Teardrop Massive attack 5:25 100
Beautiful Me'shell Ndegeocello 2:41
Trust Me'shell Ndegeocello 4:27
Roxanne police 3:14
Only You Portishead 5:02
Always In My Head Psapp 3:26 100
Treefingers Radiohead 3:44 Kid A
Long Time The Roots 4:24 Game Theory
No Ordinary Love Sade 7:20
Disarm Smashing Pumpkins 3:16 Siamese Dreams
Let's Get Blown Snoop Dogg 4:39 Snoop_Dogg_R&G_Rhythm_and_Gang
Eulogy Tool 8:28 Anima
Ain't No Sunshine Van Morrison 2:03



III

original list
All That I Can Say Mary J Blige 5:27
Big Girls Don't Cry Fergie 4:28 The Dutchess
Spinning Zero 7 6:03 Simple Things 60
Purple Rain Prince 8:40 The Hits/The B-Sides [Disc 2]
Cowboys And Angels George Michael 7:15 Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best Of George Michael [Disc 1]
Sweet Lullaby Deep Forest 3:54 Deep Forest
Apple Juice Kissing Deee-Lite 3:14 Dewdrops In The Garden
Stay In Bed, Forget The Rest Dee-Lite 3:09 Dewdrops In The Garden
Stripped Depeche Mode 3:52 Singles 1986-1998 (Disc 1)
Even Deeper Nine Inch Nails 5:48 The Fragile (Left) 100
Closer To My Dreams India Arie 4:45 Voyage to India 100
Say Yes Floetry 4:28 Floetic 100
Closer Floetry 4:05 Flo'Ology (Advance) 100
Tear In Your Hand Tori Amos 4:39 Little Earthquakes
I'll Be Dreaming The Pierces 4:58 The Pierces 100
Back To Black Amy Winehouse 4:03 Back To Black
Your My Flavor Lenny Kravitz 3:49 5 80
In The Waiting Line Zero 7 4:32 Garden State Soundtrack 100
I Cry Anthony Hamilton 4:26 Soulife (Advance) 100

Newsletter: November Update

November Update 11-14-07

Hello Ladies! It is that time again, the leaves are changing. Trees are shedding their leaves in order to prepare themselves for the winter (to accommodate for a shortage of water and light). Also, this loss of leaves helps prevent frost by reducing their surface area. So essentially, they change to survive. A lot like us, I say. This has also been a time of change for me. Empire Dance, the studio that I have taught at for over a year and a half and rented space from even longer, is closing. And the studio in Austin, Free Spirit, is finally opening. That means big changes for StripXpertease. On top of that, my roommate wants to move both of us to a new apartment (and in New York that is exciting, but no easy feat). But this is life, isn't it? It is constantly changing, and we must change with it to survive. Sometimes the change is welcome, sometimes it is met with fierce opposition, and sometimes it takes the passage of time for us to realize that the transition was truly a blessing in disguise. Either way, change is inevitable. So I will try my best to embrace this ending and new transformation within StripXpertease (see my thoughts below) with grace and dignity. And I think we all should take a cue from nature. When we are forced to change, we should do it like the trees, and transform in vibrant, breathtaking, bold, beautiful style. :)Enjoy the color, it is only there for a brief moment. xoxoxo-Kimberly


November-December Schedule
There will be a limited schedule this November and December. We gotta eat turkey and go shopping after all! Sign up or see schedule HERE!!UPCOMING AUSTIN, TX PUBLIC CLASSESNOVEMBER ...classes are already fullDECEMBER
*Basic Moves Intro Class: December 12th, Wed 7-9 pm.
UPCOMING NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC CLASSES NOVEMBER
*Strip Club Field Trip: November 29th, Thurs 8pm ...last trip 'till 2008
*Desire Series IA (weekend cram) November 17, Sat 12-3:45 pm...last Desire Series at introductory rate, only $80
*Desire Series IA November 26th-December 10th, every Mon 7-8:10 pm
*Desire Series IIA November 26th-December 10th, every Mon 8:20-9:30pm
DECEMBER
*Basic Moves Intro Class: December 1st, Sat 6-8 pm
*Desire IA (weekend cram): December 15th, Sat 12-3:45 pm....JUST ADDED!
*Basic Moves Intro Class: December 17th, Mon 7:30-9:30 pm
*Desire Series IB December 2nd-16th, every Sun 3:30-4:40 pm
Remember, if these dates don't work for you, you can always sign up for a private lesson and take the class when it works for you! Day or night! Class descriptions HERE!!
PRICES: Basic Moves Intro Class: $45 or $80 for 2Strip Club Field Trip: $25Desire Series: $90

Newletter Secret Special
Shhhh. It's a secret. Mention the November Secret Newsletter Special and save 10% on a private lesson for you or a group of friends if you put down a deposit between November 23-25th.

Goodbye Empire Dance, Hello Free Spirit
I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first? OK, good first. As many of you Texas gals know, Saralynn has been in the process of building her own studio called Free Spirit. No worries ladies, she will still be teaching for us. Having this new studio will finally allow room for all of the ongoing classes that we have had in full swing here in NYC like Stripper Strength and Desire. I have yet to see the finished product, but will get my first glimpse this Xmas. I can't wait! Although the space isn't completely finished, we have been holding classes there already, and students are loving it. Oh, and did I mention there are poles? So, YAY! They will have a grand opening party coming up real soon. I will keep you posted.

Now for the bad news. This Friday, as I was pulling into the airport to head back to NYC, I got a call from Reba, the owner of Empire Dance. I knew that for months they had been planning to move into a new and much better space. I was so excited to have SXT classes in TWO new studios come 2008. Anyhow, Reba goes on to say that the budget for the new place was getting out of control. No surprise there, there are always those damn unexpected costs. But what she said next nearly floored me. She said that due to these costs, Empire Dance would be closing its doors...for good... in three weeks. I just said, "I, uh, I uh, wow, ummm, wow." Then she dropped another bomb. She said that some of the staff would be invited to teach at You Should Be Dancing, keeping our same schedule, and that this company would even honor class cards for current Empire students. Then came bomb number three. I was invited and they needed an answer by Sunday, two days away. Again, I stuttered " I, uh, I uh, wow, I uh, OK."

I had taught Stripper Strength at Empire Dance for a year and a half. I constantly rented space from them for my other classes. I taught at least 4 times a week there. I felt at home there. I thought, where the f*#@ was this coming from!?! Not to mention, as I was on the phone in the truck, my father, who had brought me to the airport, had unloaded my bags and had left them unattended on the sidewalk. I was stuttering to Reba, imagining my bags being confiscated by some overzealous airport security guard and my insides being probed and studied in some airport lockdown. "Dad!," I said, "You can't leave my bags unattended!" He thought that as long as WE could see them that they weren't unattended. Gees.I had a lot of time to think on the plane. Thank god they serve alcohol.

I knew the new studio couldn't possibly take all of us on. Those that were invited to move over would have to cut their class load and leave students out in the dark. I didn't want to do that. I figured the only way to continue was to pray that they could let me teach the classes that they couldn't assimilate somewhere else. And did I even want to teach there? I hadn't even seen the space or met the staff!As I anticipated, the new studio didn't have room for the Tues and Wed night class. They could only take Sunday. So, the Sunday 2 pm class will continue on at You Should be Dancing. For now, the Wednesday day class is canceled, but the Tues night and Wed night class will continue on. However, they will be managed by StripXpertease and will be at a location yet to be announced. I am still ironing out the details, but don't worry ladies, you aren't getting out of the 45 that easy. :)

I hope that you will all stay tuned to find out about the Tues/Wed class. And I hope to see all you Sunday gals at the new space.I had a lot of good times at Empire Dance. I witnessed some amazing dancing, and even took a few classes. I met and taught so many beautiful, strong, and confident women there. I saw my first in between the legs tango kick (wow!) and learned how to step-rock-step in Studio B. I saw my first student cry tears of joy in Studio D&E, and taught my first drag queen in A. Indeed, I learned a lot about teaching in that space. But like I said earlier, all things must change. So goodbye Empire Dance, and thanks for the memories.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any questions regarding the switch of the Sunday class and class cards, please contact Empire Dance. 212.645.2441. Last Sunday class @ Empire is the 25th. Last Tues/Wed class will be the 20th/21st. Join me after the last Tues/Wed class at Rogue for a farewell cocktail. :) New class info for the Tues/Wed class will be announced through this newsletter in the following weeks.

StripXpertease Info.
Private Lessons & Public Classes: Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Strengthening Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Field Trips, Pleasure (Toy) Parties
Sign up for private lessons/public classes here.
See all class descriptions here.
CONTACT US:
WEB: StripXpertease.com
PHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831
EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.com
Studio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.
In-home classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. In home classes also available in NY, Northern New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an additional travel fee.
This newsletter goes out to all new sign ups until next newsletter release.
FEEL FREE TO FORWARD ONTO FRIENDS: Subscribe to the StripXpertease mailing list.
You can see previous newsletters on our blog

Herbal Essences ...for men

Too funny.

Stripper Strength Update

Well ladies, I am still working on it. But don't give up on them yet. I am suppossed to call a guy today that is going to let me know if I can rent the space I truly want on Tuesdays. If that doesn't pan out I have like one more option then the time will have to be moved for the Tues class. Same thing goes for the wednesday class. Hang in there:)

Diary of Woman's Week at the Gym...another from my cousin...funny stuff

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching theskillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly onthe treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda' s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try tosteer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERYannoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other stuff, too, which was just as ridiculous.
THURSDAY :
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.
Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny girl to find me.
Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY :
I hate Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.
Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY :
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lackedthe strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY :
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today (since I can't drive!) so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will alsopray that next year my daughter will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

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New Betty Fun

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My cousin emailed this to me..thought it was funny :)

This is a real letter, written to Mr. Thatcher, a high-level brand manager for Proctor and Gamble.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants.Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle- manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And although I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And, that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Funny....At home mammogram

I saw this recently...funny.

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!

Exercise 1
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn�t effective enough.

Exercise 2
Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!

Strange Female Product II

Ok, here is another weird one. This is a ...a ummm, well....it is a tampon...that isn't a tampon. So weird....OK, it is a small cup that you insert. In theory, your flow gets contained in the cup for up to 12 hours, then you pull it out, dump it in the toilet, rinse and re-insert.

Hey, I didn't make this one up. The one pictured is the Moon Cup, by Keeper. I think it is brilliant, just like the Sweet Pee. I just don't know if I could use it.

Here is more info from their site http://mooncup.co.uk/index.html

About the Moon Cup
The Moon Cup is a small internally worn, reusable menstrual cup. It is made of medical grade silicone. A wise alternative to tampons or pads! The Moon Cup menstrual cup can each hold up to one ounce of your menstrual flow (An average woman's entire monthly flow is from 2 to 4 ounces) They can be worn up to 12 hours and even overnight. Great for active women. The Moon Cup honors your body since they do not absorb or disrupt your natural vaginal moisture. Moon Cup menstrual cups are environment friendly, honoring the ecological balance of the earth. They are also economical and simple to use. Instructions included. Also comes with a drawstring bag. Styles vary; call if you have a preference!

Check out this site for all questions about the cup. http://menstrualcups.org/ It seems that women love it as much as they struggle with it. Leakage, pain, and annihilation by the family pet.

There is also a Diva Cup http://www.divacup.com/ . Instead, which looks less painful http://www.softcup.com/ . And Lunette http://www.lunette.fi/english_index.html ...which by the way doesn't test on animals. (yeah, not even gonna touch that one.

As far as I am concerned, I am earthy, I recycle, I take mass transit, but the environment can suffer a little, cuz I like my white thongs. I am sticking with Tampax.

Breast Exam Poem

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month...


Breast Exam Poem (I didn't write this, but it sure is funny...)


For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests.


So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra.


After 30 years of astute care, My doctor found a lump. She ordered up a mammogram, To look inside that bump.


"Stand up very close" she said. As she got my boob in line, "And tell me when it hurts" she said. "Ah yes! There, that's fine.


She stepped upon a pedal. I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate pressed down and down, My boob was in a vise!


My skin was stretched and stretched, From way up under my chin. My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish pancake thin.


Excruciating pain I felt. Within it's vice-like grip. A prisoner in this viscous thing, My poor defenseless tit!


"Take a deep breath" she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting.


"There, that was good," I heard her say As the room was slowly swaying. "Now, let's have a go at the other one." Lord have mercy I was praying.


It squeezed me from up and down. It squeezed me from both sides. I'll bet she's never had this done, Not to her tender little hide!


If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have popped, "ker-pow!"


This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his balls in there, And see how they come out!

Pole Dancing Grip Help

Ok, so recently I went to try out a pole dancing class @ Crunch Gym. Just to see.... WOW! I was amazed at how many tricks they were trying to get girls with no experience to do. No spotters and no mats! ...But that is a different story.

What blew my mind was this stuff the instructor put in my hands. My first thought was that it was alcohol gel. The truth is, the pole needs to stay oil and lotion free. It makes anything, even holding on to lean back, difficult. I have seen more new girls pulled off second stage by a veteran dancer who climbs up on main stage to find an oil slick on the pole. Its like who is the fuck is wearing oil??!! So then your whole 2 songs are ruined because you cant even touch the pole. So you finish your set, proceed over to stage 2 where you know its Exxon Valdez all over again, politely grab her arm and say, Look honey, you cant grease up your body then rub all over the pole... its disgusting. Please get a towel and wipe it off (when you want to say bitch, wipe off your nasty crud).
Yes, I myself have gone off on a new girl or two. I mean its common knowledge. If your hands are so greasy you cant even grab the pole do you really think anyone else can? Sometimes they would bathe, I mean bathe in oil and then do floor moves and the next girl on stage almost falls down before she even gets to the pole!

But to my surprise this was not alcohol gel ...it was like this super antiperspirant. It helped to grip the pole alright. I couldn't believe it. I thought, well hell, this is cheating! Back in my day you just rubbed your hands on the floor to pick up a little dust. My, this is quite the improvement. But I still can't help but think it is cheating.
Here are a few I found.

• Dry Hands... with shipping 9.97 http://www.dryhands.com/


• Magic Grip Spray... with shipping 18.95 http://www.vsathletics.com/product.php?xProd=379&xSec=132


• Tite Grip ...with shipping 11.50 http://www.tite-grip.com/


• Mighty Grip http://www.mightygrip.info/


• Dry Touch Hands http://drytouchhands.com/

BTW, if anyone want to check out the class @ crunch, I'll tag along. Fun stuff.

Stange Female Products

Ok...this has to take the cake. You know how guys say...yeah, well I can pee standing up. Well, now you can too!! Thanks to the MY SWEET PEE. OMG. It lets ladies pee while standing!!
You have to check out the whole site including the testimonials and the FAQ. This is too good. I don't know if I could actually use one of these. Maybe in a 3rd world country. But what would you do if you were in the stall and you saw feet facing the other way in the stall next to you...Crazy!

This is the story of the creators...from my home state. I GOTTA meet these girls. Bet they wouldn't do the finger in the mouth move...lol. They apparently spent yrs researching this ...can you imagine????
We are twin sisters from Texas and have always had an issue with germs. The usual precautions like washing our hands are routine. We wear a mask on airplanes, request two bed sheets and pillow cases in hotel rooms, use a straw rather than put our lips on a restaurant glass, just to name a few of our fears. But, the thought of coming in contact with germs related to public restrooms, makes us cringe! We just knew there had to be a way for women to avoid getting close and personal to a public toilet.

I just don't know what to say, but I do like the idea of the citrus spray. Thanks to dancing for 10 yrs and teaching stripper strength 4 xs a week I can squat no problem, but for those that can't this could be your saving grace. If you buy this PLEASE let me know how it works! I am dying to know.

Remember My Pink betty?

Well I just got this in my email today...hmmm might have to try this one too : )

INTRODUCING: BEWITCHING BETTY™....
Trick or Treat this Halloween with a betwitching betty™!Try a SUN-BURST betty™ (orange) color or a BLACK betty™color along with our new fun shaped Halloween stencils!
A cat or a bat shape, or maybe a ‘lil pumpkin patch! 3 FREE stencils with each BLACK betty™kit or SUN-BURST betty™kit purchased.
Available NOW on http://www.bettybeauty.com/! Place your order today!
Thanks so much,
bettybeauty, inc
1-888-44-betty

B(o)(o)BS!!!

In honor of Breast Cancer awareness month.. I wanted to make you aware of all the different ways boobs can be represented on your computer...enjoy.

Perfect breasts(o)(o)

Fake silicone breasts( + )( + )

Perky breasts(*)(*)

Big nipple breasts(@)(@)

\o/\o/ Old breasts

A cups o o

D cups { O }{ O }

Wonder bra breasts (oYo)

Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided breasts (o)(O)

Pierced Breasts (Q)(O)

Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)

Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( )

Android Breasts o o

Paris Hilton's Breasts ($)($)

OK Girls--now that you have had your laugh, remember breast cancer awareness -- so have those boobs checked out and stay healthy...

NEWSLETTER:September Update 09-04-07

Well, it is official. School is back! That means the summer is almost over. Which means time to start covering up the skin again. But how many of you are already covering up? How many of you covered up all summer? How many were too afraid to wear short shorts or put on a swim suit? How many of you were embarrassed by your upper arms and wouldn't dare bare your belly. Too many of you! Perhaps you said, "This summer my body wasn't perfect enough...maybe next summer." Isn't that what you said last summer? Listen up ladies, time is passing you by while you are obsessed with your body's unimportant imperfections! Time that could be spent with the breeze on your thighs or god forbid, at the beach! It is time to love your body for what it is and stop comparing yourself to the idea of perfection that you have in your head. NO ONE IS PERFECT. We seem to continually strive towards body perfection. Buying creams, lotions, makeup, and the whole lot; dieting and restricting, spending hours in the gym or hours beating ourselves up for not being in the gym. But what we don't see is that perfection is impossible to attain...although the media does a darn good job of raising our expectations, by hiding the truth. I think this video in our blog http://www.stripxpertease.com/2007/02/when-world-makes-us-feel-ugly-fat-etc.html is a great example of what we don't see. Go Dove! Check out their other videos, including the pro-age commercial that they can't play on American TV http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=7133 . This commercial actually got pulled from US stations for showing too much skin...so they say. Yet this Victoria's Secret ad is perfectly OK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qmt08cZ8S6A. Dammit America, WAKE UP! Stop trying to make women think that anything besides airbrushed retouched perfection is vulgar. I think the Dove ad is admirable and the women in it are gorgeous. These women were brave enough to bare it all for all the world to see and they are wonderful for doing it! They showed it all, wrinkles, stretchmarks, rolls, splotches, and imperfections on HUGE billboards and TV ads! And because they were confident, they rocked it! So ladies, take a cue from these women! Put down the magazines and wrinkle cream, bare some skin, and love yourself! Put on some short shorts and enjoy the rest of the summer!xoxo-Kimberly




School is Back in Session! Enroll today!!
They say you are never too old to learn a new trick! How about a whole routine full of tricks? StripXpertease classes are designed for ALL types of women. All sizes, all ages! We are not teaching women to "be" strippers. We are teaching women to be SEXY! This movement will help you feel alive, sensual, and like the vixen you know you are! StripXpertease classes are DANCE based, not fitness based. Remember, strippers don't sweat. The movement is slow and sensual. Check out our new classes and sign up today on our rates page. The Basic Moves workshop is our teaser class...sign up to get a taste of the striptease, standing, and lap dance that we teach in the Desire & DANCE series. FUN, FUN!!
Purchase tickets to StripXpertease classes with a friend and save $$!! SIGN UP FOR CLASS HERE!!
UPCOMING AUSTIN, TX PUBLIC CLASSESSEPTEMBER
*Basic Moves workshop: September 13th & 29th, $45 for 1, $80 for 2
OCTOBER
*Basic Moves workshop: October 10th & 20th, $45 for 1, $80 for 2
Remember, if these dates don't work for you, you can always sign up for a private lesson and take the class when it works for you! Day or night!
UPCOMING NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC CLASSESSEPTEMBER
*Basic Moves workshop: September 17th & 29th, $45 for 1, $80 for 2
*Strip Club Field Trip: September 27th, $25
*Stripper Strength, the striptease work-out: Every Tues. 6 pm, Wed. 12:30 & 8 pm, and Sun. 2 pm.
OCTOBER
*Basic Moves workshop: October 14th & 27th, $45 for 1, $80 for 2
*Strip Club Field Trip: October 25th, $25
*Stripper Strength, the striptease work-out: Every Tues. 6 pm, Wed. 12:30 & 8 pm, and Sun. 2 pm.
*Desire series I & II to be announced soon...
Remember, if these dates don't work for you, you can always sign up for a private lesson and take the class when it works for you! Day or night!
Check out class descriptions here
CLASSES WILL SELL OUT~~SIGN UP TODAY!!!!!
*Wanna crash course or just want to see what we do? Striptease, lap dance, and more! Sign up for a Basic Moves Workshop! Only $45!
*Know you are ready to learn and want the full treatment? Sign up for the Desire Series! Only $150!
*Not yet ready to strut your stuff in front of other students? Sign up for a private lesson or private lesson package like 3 class pkg or D.A.N.C.E.!
*Have a bachelorette or birthday party coming up? Sign up for a Basic Moves private class just for your group on any day you want!!
*Taken a few classes with us already, but yearning for more? Sign up for Desire II!
*Wanna see what really goes in the strip club? Sign up for our Strip Club Field Trip! Only $25!
*Wanna hot lap dance class for you and your lover? Sign up for Lover's Moves!
*Don't forget about these great New York classes, our one-on-one pole class Pure Pole Power, Lap Dance Intensive, Tease N' Toy Joy, and Shop N Strip.




Newsletter Secret Special
Shhhh. It's a secret. Mention the September Secret Newsletter Special and save a whopping 15% on a private lesson for you or a group of friends if you put a deposit between September 10th & 11th.




Oh My God...They All Have Cellulite!
That is what two girls leaned over and whispered to me during the last Strip Club Field Trip. I laughed and said, "I told you gals, they're not perfect." I think the reason that women have so much fun on the field trip is because they leave feeling better about themselves. It is such an eye-opener. They leave realizing that they are beautiful just the way they are. They realize that strippers don't have this unattainable beauty that they thought they had. I think most women and men hold strippers in the same light that we hold a lot of celebrities in. We think their bodies, hair, and skin are flawless. The truth is, nobody in that club is perfect. Nobody. I used to joke and say that you could go down the line at a strip club dressing room and find either cellulite, or stretchmarks, or both on every girl. And for the most part it was true. Of course, there is the exception to the rule. There are girls who do not have cellulite visible to the naked eye, girls who take your breath away with or without make up, but they usually live in the gym and eat plain chicken breast 5 times a day, or they are among the blessed. And they are not the majority. Similar to the "Stars Without Their Makeup" issues of all of those gossip magazines(the one time magazines don't air brush), there is always the one star who looks better without her make up, but the rest look like real people. Strippers for the most part are beautiful women with nice skin, great hair, and toned bodies just like our leading ladies (and believe me when I say, they work at it...hard), but they're not perfect. They are real people that have the resources, time, and lighting to just look that way, just like those celebs in the magazines.The point is that no woman is truly perfect, but there will always be the women that will strive to be her and the men that will strive to find her. But in the long run, those people just get disappointed. True beauty comes from within. It comes from CONFIDENCE (Now, don't get me wrong, mascara, a good lip gloss, and a few miles on the treadmill never hurt anyone.) But that is why I love those Dove ads, especially the pro-age one. Because the women are beautiful and REAL and CONFIDENT. And to me they are still sexy!So for those of us who might not be able to spend 6 hours a day in the gym, who are old enough to be the mother of a stripper, who happen to enjoy the occasional cheeseburger, or who can't afford a make-up artist to follow us around, we have to accept our imperfections and love ourselves. Be confident, and of course, take care of yourself. All women have beauty. Yet so many of us conceal it with low self esteem and self hatred. So love yo-self, because if you don't love yourself, there isn't any amount of makeup or hairspray that can do the trick. Anyone can pull out her inner stripper. We all posses the skills to be sexy. So don't be silly, realize you are a sexy mama just the way you are. That is why I love teaching this movement, because when women really learn the moves and start dancing, they don't look anything but sexy. They become these fierce creatures that finally look in mirror and see what they should always see...a beautiful, confident, sexy woman.




StripXpertease Info.
Private Lessons & Public Classes: Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Strengthening Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Field Trips, Pleasure (toy) Parties
Sign up for private lessons/public classes here.
See all class descriptions here.
CONTACT US:
WEB: StripXpertease.com
PHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831
EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.com
Studio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.
In-home classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. In home classes also available in NY, Northern New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an additional travel fee.
This newsletter goes out to all new sign ups until next newsletter release.
FEEL FREE TO FORWARD ONTO FRIENDS: Subscribe to the StripXpertease mailing list.
You can see previous newsletters on our blog.

Striptease songs, songs to strip to.

So many people ask me for song suggestions. So I compiled a list. Several. Be careful and make sure you read the mix description to avoid songs that were accidentally included by iTunes.

You have to access these lists from the program iTunes, not the iTunes store on your web browser. If you don't have iTunes you can download it here for free. http://www.apple.com/itunes/download/

Have fun!!
OK. The lists can only be accessed from your actual iTunes player

Click on iTunes (look in your programs on your computer)to open the program.
Click on the iTunes store, which is on the left hand side...a little icon that looks like shopping bag.
In the new screen that opens, look at the box that says iTunes store on the left hand side.
In that box, click on Music... (if you have been on iTunes recently go to the top bar and click Music next to the little house icon.)
In the new screen look on the left hand side in the box called More in Music, click iMix.
In the search for box type in: StripXpertease, and click the magnifying glass.
Then they should be there!

Walking in the Stripper Shoe

OK. Here is how it is mastered......PRACTICE!! :)
Yes, it takes time, and hard practice. But if you really want to master it, you just have to keep walking in them. It all comes down to repetition and balance.
First, you need to make sure the shoe fits. Then try just wearing one shoe. I know it will be weird, but just wear it around... step, step up, step, step up. Then switch feet. This will help you familiarize yourself with how your foot moves around in the shoe.
Then throw them both on. Wear them in 20 minute increments...like while doing household chores...the boyfriend/hubby will love it. And it seems to be much easier to do dishes in 6 inch stripper heels. :)
Try to stay on hard even surfaces, pile carpet is death to the sexy walk. You can always start with a wedge or chunky heel first http://snaz75.com/ts-806.html or http://snaz75.com/pl-nuwave-509.html. I personally think they are ugly as hell and I think most dancers do too because the style came and went pretty quickly. A stiletto heel will always make your legs look better too. But you can also try a wedge, some wedges are pretty hot. http://snaz75.com/el-w-manhattan.html http://snaz75.com/pl-beau-609.html http://snaz75.com/ts-601.html (my fave).
As always the more the ankle is supported, the better you feel when you do fall, so don't ever do slip-ons unless you can walk in the regular stripper shoes first.
Also try walking up and down stairs, USIGN THE HAND RAIL!, for more practice.
When you first start walking, look down at your feet, then as you become better try not looking down until you can get the hang of it. Then try walking a bit faster in them. Also try strengthening the ankle as well http://physicaltherapy.about.com/od/orthopedicsandpt/ss/anklerehab_4.htm
And just know, I've been wearing these heels every other day for over 10 yrs and I still take a little stumble every once and a while.
Good luck!!!

Britney, Britney, Britney

Where so I start? OK, so I am always preaching how important it is to connect. That your face is the most important thing right? Well, I think this proves it. This is Britney Spears "performance" from the 2007 MTV VMA's. It is terrible. More like a bad audition to So You Think You Can Dance, there is no connection.
Ladies, you have to make eye contact , connect with your music and with the person you are dancing for, and most importantly....YOU MUST LOOK CONFIDENT! If not you will look just like this train wreck...bless her soul.

For high quality (from MTV site) watch here

Same Blog, New Look

We just freshened up a bit....its still us ;)
xoxox
-Kimberly

Stretching the Stripper Shoe.

It seems that a lot of women have trouble with the shoe and the fit. They have trouble with the part that goes across of the top of the toes being too tight. This can be a problem. In the club the girls had a neat trick. They would take a hair dryer to the plastic part to heat it, thus making it more pliable, then slip a socked foot inside (the sock prevented the skin from burning) to stretch out the shoe. They would wear it for 15 or so minutes while the shoe cooled and then repeat if necessary.
I recently had a client who had a problem where this part was too big. If it stretches too much that is where the payless shoe pads come in handy, but make sure you super glue them in or they will move around too much. These Tip Toes are a bit more pricey than payless but, same concept.

It seems that someone needs to come in and make these shoes a bit more comfortable, but in the meantime just shop around until you find one that fits. Try them on in the local store and find a brand you like and then order them online to save money.
Good luck ladies!

Stripper Shoes in Austin TX

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Titty Bar

That's what we always called it. I think the polite term is Gentlemen's Club. But no one who frequented them ever called them that. And clubs all had nicknames too. There was an all nude club in Austin called Show Palace, everyone called it Pussy Palace. Expose was Sexpose (pronouced sex-po-say). The Yellow Rose...hell I think they just called it the Rose. But none the less, for the regulars, they are strip clubs, titty bars, boobie bars, honey houses, beaver barns, and nudie bars.

NEWSLETTER: August Update 08-05-07

Boy, oh boy! What a response I got from the My First Vibrator story. We created quite a "buzz!" I couldn't believe how many of you lovely ladies DON'T OWN ONE! I heard from so many that you loved the story, but that you too had not EVER owned one. I was just floored. This is an epidemic!!! We must get you ladies tuned into this amazing form of self love. Then it occurred to me. I could help to bring you the "love" you so need and desire!!!
So, I met with my good friend Francine who owns Femme Desires and we came up with some thing SPECTACULAR!!! A new class just in time for back to school. Are you ready for this? It is called Tease and Toy Joy. That's right, we are combining super steamy striptease classes with titillating tantalizing toys!!! Woo hoo! I am super excited about this event. Our first event is Sept. 8th in NYC. Check it out below. In the mean time, while you are doing all of your back to school shopping, grabbing notebooks, glue, and pens for the kids, make sure to grab a few rechargeable batteries, cuz mama's goin back to school too!
xoxoxo
-Kimberly
P.S. Those cute little plastic teddy bears? Yep, vibrators! Who knew?!?!


Time for Back to School! Check Out Our Hot New Classes!
Uggggh. Is it August already?!? August always brings a sense of dread for me. It is back to school time. And that means that summer is drawing to a close. And that just makes me want to cry. But I thought hey, lets make back to school fun! Let us make this a time to re-educate ourselves. Let it be a time to re-educate yo-self!! Check out our new classes and sign up today on our rates page. Who knew class could be so much fun?
NEW NY CLASSES: Pure Pole Power & Tease and Toy Joy
Tease and Toy Joy: Start with some basic moves from our Basic Moves strip tease class like our sexy Stripper Walk and the Bone Crusher, guaranteed to leave any lover drooling. Then follow it up with a pleasure presentation from Femme Desires that will demonstrate various items to enhance your most intimate moments, from massage oils to edible products to toys for you and him! Oh joy!! First class will be Sept 8th. SIGN UP HERE!!
Pure Pole Power: This class covers basic pole moves for one student in-home only, including spins and positionings. No inversions. You must already have a pole installed in your home. Pre-req: Basic Moves.
The Lap Dance Intensive(Aug 5th ..eeek that is TODAY!!) is BACK!!! For this class only, you need to register @ EMPIRE DANCE, 212.645.2441.
Shop N Strip is back. Events can be held on weekdays AND weekends. Sign up today!!!
HURRY UP!! NYC Desire Series starts THIS WEEK!!! Great for beginners! Sign up to our classes with a friend and save!! SIGN UP HERE!!
UPCOMING TEXAS PUBLIC CLASSES... SIGN UP!
Basic Moves workshop: August 15th or August 24th, $45 for 1, $80 for 2
UPCOMING NEW YORK PUBLIC CLASSES... SIGN UP!
Basic Moves workshop: August 11th or 24th, $45 for 1, $80 for 2
Desire Series: August 11th-12th, $150 for 1, $270 for 2
Strip Club Field Trip: August 16th, $25
Desire II : August 25th-26th, $150 for 1, $270 for 2..**pre-req: Desire I, 3 pkg, or DANCE series
Tease & Toy Joy: Sept 8th, $65 for 1, $120 for 2
Click here for more information OR Check out class descriptions here
September dates will be released shortly.
CLASSES WILL SELL OUT~~SIGN UP TODAY!!!!!
Wanna crash course or just want to see what we do? Sign up for a Basic Moves Workshop! Only $45!
Know you are ready to learn and want the full treatment? Sign up for the Desire Series! Only $150!
Not yet ready to strut your stuff in front of other students? Sign up for a private lesson or private lesson package!
Have a bachelorette or birthday party coming up? Sign up for a Basic Moves private class just for your group on any day you want!!
Taken a few classes with us already, but yearning for more? Sign up for Desire II!
Wanna see what really goes in the strip club? Sign up for our Strip Club Field Trip! Only $25!
Wanna hot lap dance class for you and your lover? Sign up for Lover's Moves!


Newsletter Secret Special
Shhhh. It's a secret. Mention the August secret newsletter special and save 10% on a private lesson for you or a group of friends if you put a deposit between August 13th & 16th.


My First Vibrator! ...The Follow-Up
I really couldn't get over it, how many of you don't have vibrators!!! And I heard a bevy of reasons as to why. Here are the top four.
1. I don't know how to use one, or I am afraid to use one.
2. I am afraid it will make me not want to have s*x.
3. I am afraid someone will find out.
4. Just straight ole' all around fear.
OK, lets first discuss # 1. Actually, it is pretty easy. There are basically 2 types of vibrators. The ones you insert and the ones you don't. For your first time out of the gate, lets go with the ones you don't insert. Like The Blueberry Buzz that I mentioned last month. Your first time should be in your room alone with the lights dimmed and the mood set. Even putting on a skinamax (cinemax) late night soft core porn might help. You should be totally naked except for panties. And not those granny panties either! Those little red ones that make you feel super hot! First, read the directions and figure out how to load the batteries. Thank god for rechargeable batteries!! If the sound is too loud you can insert some tissue in between the two plastic housings to quiet it down a bit . Start with the lowest vibration. Begin by just.....READ entire story on our blog. Click here.
As for # 2, WRONG!! As I mentioned last month ( the more "s*x" (plastic or fleshy) you have, the less chance for sexual dysfunction, aka no s*x drive! ) it will not only increase s*x drive, but you will learn more how to pleasure yourself. And the more you know about how to pleasure yo-self, the easier it is to tell someone else how to pleasure you! AMEN!
Then # 3. Most online stores ship discreetly in unmarked packages. Also, most stores have a strict policy about your information and what they do with it. They don't sell it or give it away. Be sure to check each individual website's policy. Also, consider buying a silent vibrator, or use it under heavy covers so your nosey roommate won't wonder what that buzzing sound is all about. When it comes to storage, think like a teenager with a diary....store your toy in a secret space. Perhaps deep between your mattresses or in the bottom of your sock drawer in a special bag. Definitely don't leave it on the nightstand! But then again, nowadays they have multiple toys that look like ordinary objects, like the little bears above, lipstick, pens, and even flashlights.
And for # 4, well the only thing to fear is fear itself. Of course, the first time will be a little scary, but wasn't it scary the first time you kissed some one or made love. And wasn't it worth it?!?!?!
But I know a lot of you are still a bit nervous, or maybe you are super excited and just don't know where to start. Well, for my New York , New Jersey ladies, have we got a deal for you! TEASE AND TOY JOY!!!
TEASE AND TOY JOY:
1 hour and 30 minute Basic Moves Class that includes a cheat sheet with all the moves you learn in class. (there is no nudity in our classes)
1 hour and 30 minute Pleasure Party presentation.
15 minute break in between classes.
Plenty of time after the Pleasure presentation to make any necessary purchases :)
Event limited to 12 ladies
September 8th @ 6 PM
$65 for one or $120 for 2 ladies. SIGN UP HERE!!
So what are you waiting for? Sign up here: Sign up for private lessons/public classes here. And make sure to bring. After all, friends that strip and buy toys together...well, those are some damn good friends!!! :)


StripXpertease Info.
Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Strengthening Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Private Lessons, Public Classes, Field Trips, Pleasure Parties
Sign up for private lessons/public classes here.
See all class descriptions here.


CONTACT US:
WEB: StripXpertease.com
PHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831
EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.com
Studio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.
In-home Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. Also in NY, North New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an added travel fee.
This newsletter goes out to all new sign ups until next newsletter release.
FEEL FREE TO FORWARD ONTO FRIENDS: Subscribe to the StripXpertease mailing list.
You can see previous newsletters on our blog.

OUR VIDEO from the MAP

6, 8, okay...10

OK!!! You want the truth?...it was 10. Yes, I danced for 10 yrs. I used to say over 6, and the 8 because it sounded like I had danced for a long time, enough to know my stuff, but it didn't look like I was a lifer. But I was. I guess, I AM. It was who I was. It has made me who I am. Yep, 18-29, with like a year in there that I tried not to dance by taking up some really crappy other jobs. I never planned on dancing for 10 yrs. No one does. It just happens. But, this company saved me. You all saved me:). Teaching you gave me the strength to leave. The strength to move forward to leave the past behind.

Sometimes we get into something, a job, a relationship, and it is good....REALLY good. Then it gets bad. But we get so scared, of having to find the new job, the new relationship, newness is so frightening sometimes. So scary that we stay in what is bad. Because we tell ourselves, "Hey, it's not that bad right? I mean, it could be worse. It's not like ...blah, blah, blah." Then we see how much time has gone by. That makes it even scarier. But some times you have to make the leap. Leap forward off the cliff of monotony and failure and pained comfort.

That initial free fall is f'in scary! Your arms flail about and your stomach comes up into your throat and you think, "Holy crap, what did I just do?!!!?" But then the falling slows and you land and you're still here...all in one piece.. and the scenery is new and hey, this isn't that bad after all. New is fun and exciting! Why the hell did I wait this long?

So yeah, I danced for a looong time. And yes, I was ashamed. Part of me still is. But I have turned a new page. I have flipped the script! It wasn't all a waste. And I couldn't be happier with my newness.

Is this your beer?

...that is what she would ask.
I worked with this fabulous lady who danced by the name Lolita. She had this great long hair small perfect boobs and a great body. And boy she could dance. But if guys pissed her off...man, it was classic. She didn't get upset, she just picked up the nearest beer and said, "Is this your beer?" If he said no she would pick up the next one,"Is this your drink?" It could be a beer or a drink or even water. And if he replied yes she would smile, slide off his lap, and dump it on his head.
Priceless.

How to use a vibrator...MASTURBATION 101

There are basically 2 types of vibrators. The ones you insert and the ones you dont. For your first time out of the gate, lets go with the ones you don't insert. Like The Blueberry Buzz that I mentioned. Your first time should be in your room, alone, with the lights dimmed and the mood set. Even putting on a skinamax(Cinemax) late night soft core porn might help. You should be totally naked except for panties. And not those granny panties either. Those little red ones that make you feel super hot! First read the directions and figure out how to load the batteries. Thank god for rechargeable batteries!! If the sound is too loud you can isert some tissue in between the two plastic housings to quiet it down a bit.

Start with the lowest vibration. Begin by just touching your body in different spots, excluding the sweet spot, to get the feeling of the virator agianst your skin. Try your stomach, inner thigh, lips, neck, breasts. Then turn it all the way up and repeat. This will give you an idea of how it will soon feel on your more sensitive parts. Now turn it low again and just work around the clitoris. Again vary the speeds just to feel different sensations. The slowly move in closer. You can lightly tap, or move it over the clitoris in a back in forth motion. Or you can alternate between the two. Then try holding it directly on the clitoris. Try alternating between the 3 until you find a rhythm that works best for you. After you are comfortable with this, try removing your underwear and going bare. You can use a little lube or your own salivia as well. Sometimes orgasm can be achieved with in a few minutes. Or it may take 1/2 an hour. Just dont give up. It will be well worth the wait!

My First Vibrator!

YOU'VE NEVER OWNED A VIBRATOR?!?!?!?!?! That was my reaction, when my friend casually mentioned that she had never owned one. We were discussing orgasm by self stimulation, and I was discussing the various vibrators I had owned and ones I wanted to own. And she said, "Wow, I've never even owned one." That was when I screeched. I think I scared her, I said it so loud. I mean I couldn't believe it!!! I said we are going on line and ordering one right now! And she said, "Goody! My first vibrator!"

To me they are a necessity. In fact, the more "sex" (plastic or fleshy) you have, the less chance for sexual dysfunction, aka no sex drive! That statement alone will have your man running out to buy one of these babies below. I think having a good sex drive is important. I think not having a healthy sex life with your partner causes problems beyond the bedroom. And for us women, it is our busy lives that make us sometimes not want it, right? But these little gadgets will not only increase your libido, but also can be used during foreplay with you lover. FUN! And having a healthy sex life as a single woman is important too. Vibrators are a safe and sexy option that reduce stress and keep your drive up for when Mr. Right finally does come along! Below is my history with the little lover.

• This was my first experience with a vibrator. Now that I look back, I realize I started with the king. This baby will leave you quivering for hours...woo!! Hitachi Magic Wand
  



• Then this was my first real purchase. Well not this exact one, but one very similar. It did the trick! Very hard though. Not for insertion. Violet Glow
  



• Then I tried one of these. Not very quiet. And unlike my AA lovers this one used several C batteries...Jesus... Hypersonic Rocket
  



• I once bought this for a vacation trip with the boy. Lame. I give it a thumbs down. Fukuoku 9000
  



• I once saw this in a sex shop and told this guy I was seeing that he couldn't come over unless he bought this for me. This was before I realized that vibrators could be inserted. Then I saw the light! Thank god for that wascally wabbit!! The Rabbit
  



• And this is the current one. Quiet, compact, and gets the job done. And I do love Babeland. Great store!!! The Blueberry Buzz
  

Go ahead... try it, you'll like it. Maybe you want an egg or one of these bad boys! I mean there are so many options. Large ones bigger than 3 stacked coke cans, tiny ones that fit in a closed hand. Ones that ejaculate, ones with handles, ones that thrust, ones with 3 heads, and ones with remotes for him. White ones, black ones, latin ones! Glass, plastic, jeweled, rubber, polyurethane, second skin, and CHROME!! Battery operated, plug in, rechargeable. Waterproof, glow in the dark, and ones with suction cup bases.

This one even has features like those massage chairs at the nail salon. Makes me smile just thinking about it. And this one really blew me away...it vibrates to the music in your iPod: OhMiBod. I mean you dream it, they make it.

This site can help you find the perfect mate. :) Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store Just check out the side bar to check off your favorite options. Who knew it could be this easy? ( enter code 4BW upon checkout)

But for me, I am done with having to order a new one every time old faithful dies. I have found a vibrator that is......IMMORTAL. That's right. I am saving up for the Jimmyjane: Waterproof, Silent, Everlasting Vibrator. Replaceable motor, I am sold.