Will that damn apple haunt us forever? Are we doomed to forever be shameful of our bodies and our sexuality? Are we forever doomed to keep hitting our heads on that glass ceiling? I sure as hell hope not! But something happened last week that definitely left a large goose egg right above my forehead. And I knew right then and there what to write about. NO SHAME! MORE POWER!
There is a lovely studio I rent from in Austin (one of a few). I absolutely love it! Their prices are reasonable, they have double mirrors, the entire building is the studio so there isn't overlapping music or students, and the woman who runs it is sweet as pie. I LOVE it! Unfortunately, she has to move on to bigger and better things in life (I wish her the best!). The story is, this guy is taking over the lease and all the sub-leasees will just rent from him instead of her. She tells him about StripXpertease in an email and I think, all is good. I email him to rent space and he won't return my message, so I contact him again. He finally calls me back and proceeds to tell me that he cannot rent space to me. I felt my heart rate increase. I try to maintain a polite tone as I ask him why. Although I already knew. Sure enough, it is because of what we teach.
I was shocked! Why, why, why, I say. He goes on to say that the "people" he is in business with are in the "public life", and "well we all know how the media can be." He says the "media" might get hold of it and make it scandalous. Scandalous?!?! I said there is no nudity; we aren't having S-E-X in the studio, what is the problem? He was like a broken record. Everything I said, he gave the same response. Public life, media, blah, blah, blah. I said what is the difference between what we do and salsa, tango. Both equally romantic, exotic. But the record played on. He said he understood, it was just his "partners." Yeah, right. I hung up... defeated.
The question I kept asking was what is the media going to say? Don't they support it? Story after story about pole classes at crunch, and striptease in mainstream. Even OPRAH has featured it on FIVE of her shows. The fact is, it isn't the media, it is people. People afraid of their own sexuality. Their own desires. Their own flesh. Afraid of women running around naked in the streets with red lipstick and our boobs bouncing around thrusting the world into total chaos where societies crumble and Howard Stern becomes a demigod.
The truth is, until the world says it's OK for women to be sexual and sensual and appreciate their bodies we will continue to hit that glass ceiling with a resounding thud. I am disappointed, but not surprised that there are still backwoods men and even women closing their doors to the still struggling feminist revolution. Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of! There is nothing wrong with the classes we teach and the message we share. That all women have the right to feel sexy without shame.
It is shame that causes problems in the bedroom. So shamed we can't open up and look at each other, try new things and relax and feel the joy of intimacy. It is shame that many religions instill when they preach s-e-x only for reproduction. It is shame that parents instill when they talk about s-e-x with wide eyes and furtive glances. It is shame that makes women withdrawn and cold in the bedroom. Why is that we are either whores or virgins. Why can't we explore and express without being chastised?
I could go on and on about how angry I was, how hurt, how disappointed. But it won't change the fact that that jackhole feels the way he feels. But you don't have to. No matter what you believe, or what you stand by, your body is your own and a blessing to have. There is nothing shameful with exploring it and loving it. We are women and our bodies and our sexuality hold a deep and potent power. A power to change our lives for the better. A power to stand up tall and be proud of our curves, our breasts, and our full lips. Imagine how much more fun we would have if we didn't have to hide the fact that we are taking striptease classes. Imagine how much more fun we would have in the bedroom if we weren't afraid...afraid of trying new things, afraid of what he might think, afraid of what our bodies look like, afraid we won't measure up. Imagine how much fun we would have if we used our sexuality a little more to get what we wanted when we wanted it. Imagine how much more fun we would have if we could walk into a "toy" store and but a vibrator or two with out feeling our cheeks flush. Imagine how much fun we could have if we could tell him no, that is not really how I like it. Imagine how much fun we could have if we could wear that really short mini to work without the boss sending us home. Imagine how much fun we would have if we could share these thoughts with our best friends. Ah, imagine.
"We live in a society where s-e-x is somehow shameful and should not be talked about - but we use s-e-x to sell cars. That is backwards. Human sexuality is a blessed gift to be honored and celebrated not twisted and distorted into something demeaning and shameful....Our creator did not give us sensual and sexual sensations that feel so wonderful just to set us up to fail some perverted, sadistic life test. Any concept of god that includes the belief that the flesh and the Spirit cannot be integrated, that we will be punished for honoring our powerful human desires and needs, is - in my belief - a sadly twisted, distorted, and false concept that is reversed to the Truth of a Loving God-Force." -Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Soul
There is a lovely studio I rent from in Austin (one of a few). I absolutely love it! Their prices are reasonable, they have double mirrors, the entire building is the studio so there isn't overlapping music or students, and the woman who runs it is sweet as pie. I LOVE it! Unfortunately, she has to move on to bigger and better things in life (I wish her the best!). The story is, this guy is taking over the lease and all the sub-leasees will just rent from him instead of her. She tells him about StripXpertease in an email and I think, all is good. I email him to rent space and he won't return my message, so I contact him again. He finally calls me back and proceeds to tell me that he cannot rent space to me. I felt my heart rate increase. I try to maintain a polite tone as I ask him why. Although I already knew. Sure enough, it is because of what we teach.
I was shocked! Why, why, why, I say. He goes on to say that the "people" he is in business with are in the "public life", and "well we all know how the media can be." He says the "media" might get hold of it and make it scandalous. Scandalous?!?! I said there is no nudity; we aren't having S-E-X in the studio, what is the problem? He was like a broken record. Everything I said, he gave the same response. Public life, media, blah, blah, blah. I said what is the difference between what we do and salsa, tango. Both equally romantic, exotic. But the record played on. He said he understood, it was just his "partners." Yeah, right. I hung up... defeated.
The question I kept asking was what is the media going to say? Don't they support it? Story after story about pole classes at crunch, and striptease in mainstream. Even OPRAH has featured it on FIVE of her shows. The fact is, it isn't the media, it is people. People afraid of their own sexuality. Their own desires. Their own flesh. Afraid of women running around naked in the streets with red lipstick and our boobs bouncing around thrusting the world into total chaos where societies crumble and Howard Stern becomes a demigod.
The truth is, until the world says it's OK for women to be sexual and sensual and appreciate their bodies we will continue to hit that glass ceiling with a resounding thud. I am disappointed, but not surprised that there are still backwoods men and even women closing their doors to the still struggling feminist revolution. Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of! There is nothing wrong with the classes we teach and the message we share. That all women have the right to feel sexy without shame.
It is shame that causes problems in the bedroom. So shamed we can't open up and look at each other, try new things and relax and feel the joy of intimacy. It is shame that many religions instill when they preach s-e-x only for reproduction. It is shame that parents instill when they talk about s-e-x with wide eyes and furtive glances. It is shame that makes women withdrawn and cold in the bedroom. Why is that we are either whores or virgins. Why can't we explore and express without being chastised?
I could go on and on about how angry I was, how hurt, how disappointed. But it won't change the fact that that jackhole feels the way he feels. But you don't have to. No matter what you believe, or what you stand by, your body is your own and a blessing to have. There is nothing shameful with exploring it and loving it. We are women and our bodies and our sexuality hold a deep and potent power. A power to change our lives for the better. A power to stand up tall and be proud of our curves, our breasts, and our full lips. Imagine how much more fun we would have if we didn't have to hide the fact that we are taking striptease classes. Imagine how much more fun we would have in the bedroom if we weren't afraid...afraid of trying new things, afraid of what he might think, afraid of what our bodies look like, afraid we won't measure up. Imagine how much fun we would have if we used our sexuality a little more to get what we wanted when we wanted it. Imagine how much more fun we would have if we could walk into a "toy" store and but a vibrator or two with out feeling our cheeks flush. Imagine how much fun we could have if we could tell him no, that is not really how I like it. Imagine how much fun we could have if we could wear that really short mini to work without the boss sending us home. Imagine how much fun we would have if we could share these thoughts with our best friends. Ah, imagine.
"We live in a society where s-e-x is somehow shameful and should not be talked about - but we use s-e-x to sell cars. That is backwards. Human sexuality is a blessed gift to be honored and celebrated not twisted and distorted into something demeaning and shameful....Our creator did not give us sensual and sexual sensations that feel so wonderful just to set us up to fail some perverted, sadistic life test. Any concept of god that includes the belief that the flesh and the Spirit cannot be integrated, that we will be punished for honoring our powerful human desires and needs, is - in my belief - a sadly twisted, distorted, and false concept that is reversed to the Truth of a Loving God-Force." -Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Soul
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