Well, I can't say it's all been roses. But I have learned about myself, why I am dating, and what I want. Look, I am sooooo not looking to get married and have kids, I just want a best friend, who I can be intimate with. A partner in crime, a shoulder to lean on, someone to take care of, some to love and love me. Someone to dance for!!!
So...the names have been changed....to protect the innocent and the plain stupid (PETER!)
So, lets see, the first time I signed up, my first date was with a shrink, lets call him Oscar. Intelligent, sexy, mysterious. We did the whole long email exchange, talk on the phone thing, and then set up a coffee date. The first thing he said on the date turned me off. He said he didn't get why people went to see live music....umm, yeah, see ya. It ended there.
Then I met another dude, for coffee...forgot his name. He went to Burning Man a lot which I thought was awesome, but I wasn't drawn to him, so it ended there. Then I met a fellow entrepreneur, let's call him Sonny. He was nice, good looking, driven, but lived in Staten Island, which was just too far and the chemistry felt forced. There was a second date, but not a third. Then there was Marc. Great first date, but he was too touchy-feely, and it killed it for me. I had a couple other uneventful 1st dates... one with a guy who reminded me of the ex..nooo, and one that made the first move a bit forced, so it turned me off. I suppose I wasn't that into any of these guys or maybe I just wasn't ready.
Those were all from my first time with Match/eharm, went back to "the boy" and ended my accounts. Of course, as you know, things ended again, so I went back, armed with a better knowledge of how it worked and what I wanted too. The first guy I met, we'll call Simon. We met the night before Valentine's Day on a whim, we hung out for hourrrs, had a lot in common including an obsession with a very cheesy yet AMAZING TV show, which I will not reveal. He asked me out again on V-day and I was on cloud nine. We had a whirlwind first week and he told me he wanted to take his profile down off of match. I freeeeaaked. Was I ready for that? I told him it freaked me out, and we still saw a lot of each other after that, but I think it was the beginning of the end. Not to mention he was never available due to crazy work hours. He was the first man I slept with since leaving the boy. Hell the first since I moved to NY, besides "the boy." Let me tell you, that was a HUGE step. Any how, after a month and a half it just fizzled out. I fought it for a bit, but then gave in. He was a really nice guy and I really hope he finds a girl that works for him. It obviously wasn't me.
So when things started to get weird with Simon. I started talking to other men. I figured he was dating other people , so why shouldn't I? I met Jack, he was older, in amazing shape, and a ton of fun. I felt as if I had known him for years. He just didn't have a care in the world. It was sooo refreshing! At the same time I also met Peter. Peter I really liked. He was handsome, extremely sexy, daring, an amazing kisser, smart, really into music, in fact used to work in the industry, but NOT a musician (YAY!). By the way, for those that don't know, "the boy" was a musician. So, we had an amazing week with several dates and then I had to leave town for a week. When I came back, he blew me off. Maybe its because I didn't sleep with him. Suuuucked. And Jack, well I still don't know what happened with Jack. For all I know we are still dating...lol. It was weird, but I know it would never really work out with him anyway because he is allergic to dogs. Yeah, not gonna work. I would love to be friends though, he really is a lot of fun. I met one other guy that I liked as well, but after two dates it ended...again after saying I wasn't ready to sleep with him...hmmm... pattern?
So, knowing my account was running out at the end of May, I decided to give it one-more-shot. I will not reveal all that is happening at the moment, but let's just say I am just going with the flow and I am pretty content. I just don't want to get my hopes up anymore only to be blown off. But I met another boy, no, I shouldn't say boy...man, I met a man.
You see, I decided after "the boy," NO MORE MUSICIANS, hell, no more artists, period! But that is who I love...and dammit, those are the ones who always break my heart. So, in my last month I set out to try one last stab at an "artist." (Something I had avoided like the plague. In fact, if I saw a guy with a picture of himself playing any kind of instrument, I immediately deleted!). I think I was subconsciously thinking it would end badly and it give me a reason give up on dating for a while. And so in my search I actually met an "artist." And so far, I like him. I really do. And so, yes, he plays an instrument...whatever! I am just so tired of being hurt. I can feel I am a little more closed, more guarded, more reluctant, but we will see what happens.
Wish me luck.
