The lights in the dressing room at Victoria's Secret make me want to kill myself

So the other day I popped over to VS to pick up a little hot something. I was reminded again of how much they suck now. When it comes to moderately priced sexy/risque lingerie, Frederick's blows VS out of the water, and then drags them down the beach 20 miles. I mean really. Now don't me wrong, for well made expensive lingerie, neither one of these places do the job. But lets say I don't want to pay 100 bucks for a bra, or 10 for that matter, then this is the place.

So, I find a few things that weren't grandma bland, which happen to be from the Intimissimi line, which is an Italian line that doesn't even belong to VS. I wait in line listening to the clerks discuss their monotonous jobs of restocking. BTW, I always hate this part because I have underwear in my hand and I don't want the lady to look at me with that you sick bitch look and say, "You know you can't try those on." I mean, I know I can't. I feel like, why would I? But I also don't want to look like the lady who wants to try them on...maybe it's just me. So I separate the two bras from my stack and hold them out as she approaches as to say, just these, I don't want to try these panties on, I'm not crazy....Realizing as I'm shaking two bras at the clerk, I look a little crazy.

Of course she doesn't say a word, just shuffles me in the room. Cool. Their rooms are quite large, which I like. Nothing like being cramped when your trying to pull off your jeans that have become stuck to your body in the NY city street humidifier. Now even though the Intimissi line is good, the hangers are quite retarded. The hooks are just big enough to hang on your pinkie so I can't even hang the things up. I fluff my hair and then disrobe.

ICK!

Is this really what I look like? I turn, suck in, lean back. Holy cow, I am never eating bread again.

Ever.

I was so disgusted I wanted to throw on my top and run away, but I persevered. I stepped closer to the mirror, then further away, then to the right, to the left. Dammit!

I found one thing I liked and split. The feeling of disgust lingered as I left. As I waited to cross the street I spotted a Mr. Softy truck. WTF, if I look that bad, might as well have a fucking ice cream.

In my despair I decided to spend some more money. Retail therapy. I popped in to Filenes because we are in desperate need of more drinking glasses at my house. On my way up I saw the cutest blue top. I SO didn't want to try it on, but I forced my self. These dressing rooms were nasty. Small, doors were loud and squeaky, trash on the floor. But that fluorescent lighting made me look like Giselle herself compared to how I looked not 20 minutes before. Go figure.

So if you lighting designers at VS are reading this, you seriously need a redesign.

Next time I am ordering VS online.