Another reason to love AP

I love Agent Provocateur. Their stores are a den of luscious fabrics and naughty delights. Not your mama's lingerie store! But recently I was browsing their site and saw yet another reason I love them. No airbrushing of the nipples and crotch. Beautiful! Another step forward in the march towards no shame about our bodies!

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/jodiewhite.html

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/classic_love.php

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/natashapink.html

Doesn't it make you just want to snatch up a new pair?

Walk of no shame..(aka the morning after)

This is just plain funny.

http://walkofnoshame.com/

Kiss n' tell....

So a girlfriend calls me today. One I am very close to, and tells me about her escapades last night. In great detail. I mean great detail (I think I was even a little turned on!). It just goes to show that women talk about their sexual adventures just as much as men do. I know a lot of men don't think we do, but with the right girlfriend, we do. She laid out the whole evening from the moment she walked in, to the bed, to breaking the bed, to the floor, to the bed again, to her large rug burn, to words used, positions tried, to where hands and fingers went, to how she feels today. Did I mention the detail, because that was the key. I admit, this was a fellow ex-dancer, so we are more free on our sexual discussions any way. I mean I have been pretty graphic with her about my late nights as well. But still, my other non dancer girlfriends have been equally forth coming...well maybe minus the penthouse forum details. But hell, that's why I love this girl! I just hope I never run into this guy, cause I'm gonna blush!

Match.com and internet dating...more tidbits

Yay! Some of you are signing up! So for those first timers I have a top ten list for you. OK. So from several bad dates and a handful of good ones. Here is the top 10 reasons that I would hit delete on a profile of someone that has contacted me, or someone I see in a search. By the way, my membership is soon running out, so this might be the last of them ladies...

1. No picture...yep, sure you are witty, nice, and can show a girl a good time, but when we meet you look like Steve Buscemi. And I am sorry Steve, you're just not my type.







2. Only one picture. You still look like Steve Buscemi, but you found and posted the one picture with that angle that makes you look like Brad Pitt.







3. Guys that live too far away....no, I am sorry, it simply won't work. I need to be able to just meet up with you on a whim and it won't work if you live in Westchester. (Austin gals, this is like your dude living in Round Rock if you live in Westlake.)







4. Guys that profiles make me say,"well, maaaayybe." I have learned that my gut is right! If you think he could maybe work out, it won't. There are sooo many guys on these sites!! Only communicate with ones that you really feel drawn to.







5. Listing how much money you make, especially of it is over 6 figures. That's gross.







6. Men that email before reading my profile or reading what I am looking for OR ones that do and say ..I know you don't want a guy in Westchester, but hey I live in Westchester.... No! That is what the likes and dislikes section is for. That is the beauty of this. You can just put it out there. I don't like guys who are A, B, & C. So if you are A,B, or C, then just pass me over. ...It really is simple. (But oookay, to go against this, I have done the whole wink thing to guys who were looking for women younger than myself...but generally, if the say they dont want A and I am A, I don't try to reach out.)







7. Men who list the age range they prefer as up to 10 yrs younger, but never-ever-ever-EVER anyone older than themselves. Like a 32 yr old looking for women 22-32. Or a 36 yr old looking for 24-35. Yuck. ( see #7.. )






8. Men that list sarcasm as a turnoff. (which is one of the 10 or so odd things you can say are or aren't turn ons) You are turned off by sarcasm...really?






9. The freaking form letter email. God I hate this one. Put in a liiiiiittttttle effort, k?






10. And lastly, this is just me here. But guys with pictures of themselves and babies and kids. I get it, you like kids, but this just seems like you are trying too hard. Like all women wanna have babies and seeing you with your baby niece makes my ovaries yearn for you. On the flip side my friend hates when they have pics with other girls...esp hot girls. That doesn't bother me though.

And of course I used to delete all musicians, but I 've come around on that one, for now. We'll see.


Good luck ladies!

Strippers are part therapist/ part girlfriend/ part best friend/ part fantasy.

I am always surprising women when I say this. But, believe it, it is true. First of all, women in strip clubs make the majority of their money off of our regular customers. These are guys that come in regularly. A regular is this, the guy that can come in

• every day



• several times a week



• once a week



• once a month



• whenever he is town

I have had all of these. This was my bread and butter. My main income. And the majority of what you do to make money with regulars is ....talk. Yep, that is it. Talk. The really good regulars you don't even have to dance for. You just talk. About the news, the girls in the bar, the music, politics, the weather, dreams...you name it. You listen to their problems. You offer advice. In a sense, you become their therapist. It is a weird dynamic but it exists. I have had regulars cry, telling me about their problems.

Also in a sense, you become their girlfriend. Some one they can share their ups and downs with, laugh with, party with, flirt with. You would hear when they got a promotion or got fired, when they were upset or happy. And they want to know all about your life too. What you like and dislike, your ups and downs. Sometimes I divulged all, with others it was all BS. You have to become a pretty good liar, keeping up with which guy you told which thing too.

You also become their fantasy. If their girlfriend doesn't like anal sex, you talk about it. You learn what they are looking for, what they like, and you play to it. So with each regular you are something different. With one you are ultra smart, one you are ditsy, one girl next door, another, the dirty girl. With one you might be demure and quiet, with another you're loud and brazen. You become multiple characters. One of the hardest acting gigs I ever had. Maybe that's why I was good at it. Or maybe its because I am a Gemini....which one am I today?

New Betty!! Something borrowed something blue..

They have done it again, and just in time for wedding season. A blue betty dye!

Check out the great deals at bettybeauty!

Match.com...an update

Well, I can't say it's all been roses. But I have learned about myself, why I am dating, and what I want. Look, I am sooooo not looking to get married and have kids, I just want a best friend, who I can be intimate with. A partner in crime, a shoulder to lean on, someone to take care of, some to love and love me. Someone to dance for!!!

So...the names have been changed....to protect the innocent and the plain stupid (PETER!)

So, lets see, the first time I signed up, my first date was with a shrink, lets call him Oscar. Intelligent, sexy, mysterious. We did the whole long email exchange, talk on the phone thing, and then set up a coffee date. The first thing he said on the date turned me off. He said he didn't get why people went to see live music....umm, yeah, see ya. It ended there.

Then I met another dude, for coffee...forgot his name. He went to Burning Man a lot which I thought was awesome, but I wasn't drawn to him, so it ended there. Then I met a fellow entrepreneur, let's call him Sonny. He was nice, good looking, driven, but lived in Staten Island, which was just too far and the chemistry felt forced. There was a second date, but not a third. Then there was Marc. Great first date, but he was too touchy-feely, and it killed it for me. I had a couple other uneventful 1st dates... one with a guy who reminded me of the ex..nooo, and one that made the first move a bit forced, so it turned me off. I suppose I wasn't that into any of these guys or maybe I just wasn't ready.

Those were all from my first time with Match/eharm, went back to "the boy" and ended my accounts. Of course, as you know, things ended again, so I went back, armed with a better knowledge of how it worked and what I wanted too. The first guy I met, we'll call Simon. We met the night before Valentine's Day on a whim, we hung out for hourrrs, had a lot in common including an obsession with a very cheesy yet AMAZING TV show, which I will not reveal. He asked me out again on V-day and I was on cloud nine. We had a whirlwind first week and he told me he wanted to take his profile down off of match. I freeeeaaked. Was I ready for that? I told him it freaked me out, and we still saw a lot of each other after that, but I think it was the beginning of the end. Not to mention he was never available due to crazy work hours. He was the first man I slept with since leaving the boy. Hell the first since I moved to NY, besides "the boy." Let me tell you, that was a HUGE step. Any how, after a month and a half it just fizzled out. I fought it for a bit, but then gave in. He was a really nice guy and I really hope he finds a girl that works for him. It obviously wasn't me.

So when things started to get weird with Simon. I started talking to other men. I figured he was dating other people , so why shouldn't I? I met Jack, he was older, in amazing shape, and a ton of fun. I felt as if I had known him for years. He just didn't have a care in the world. It was sooo refreshing! At the same time I also met Peter. Peter I really liked. He was handsome, extremely sexy, daring, an amazing kisser, smart, really into music, in fact used to work in the industry, but NOT a musician (YAY!). By the way, for those that don't know, "the boy" was a musician. So, we had an amazing week with several dates and then I had to leave town for a week. When I came back, he blew me off. Maybe its because I didn't sleep with him. Suuuucked. And Jack, well I still don't know what happened with Jack. For all I know we are still dating...lol. It was weird, but I know it would never really work out with him anyway because he is allergic to dogs. Yeah, not gonna work. I would love to be friends though, he really is a lot of fun. I met one other guy that I liked as well, but after two dates it ended...again after saying I wasn't ready to sleep with him...hmmm... pattern?

So, knowing my account was running out at the end of May, I decided to give it one-more-shot. I will not reveal all that is happening at the moment, but let's just say I am just going with the flow and I am pretty content. I just don't want to get my hopes up anymore only to be blown off. But I met another boy, no, I shouldn't say boy...man, I met a man.

You see, I decided after "the boy," NO MORE MUSICIANS, hell, no more artists, period! But that is who I love...and dammit, those are the ones who always break my heart. So, in my last month I set out to try one last stab at an "artist." (Something I had avoided like the plague. In fact, if I saw a guy with a picture of himself playing any kind of instrument, I immediately deleted!). I think I was subconsciously thinking it would end badly and it give me a reason give up on dating for a while. And so in my search I actually met an "artist." And so far, I like him. I really do. And so, yes, he plays an instrument...whatever! I am just so tired of being hurt. I can feel I am a little more closed, more guarded, more reluctant, but we will see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Kimberly playing around part II

Ok, so this is me again...with our advanced move "the Lolita" I love this song. "Whats It Gonna be" by Busta Rhymes.

Reunion dot com OMG

So I occasionally get emails from them saying so-n-so looked for me. I thought it would be interesting...old classmates, old gal pals, etc. So I signed up. For the free account. Although there was an option to purchase an upgrade. It said I could import my contacts and see who was on. I happen to have a gmail account, and lovely gmail saves anyone who you have EVER emailed as a contact.

So here is what the site does...it emails EVERYONE in my address book. EVERYONE.

OH.
MY.
GOD.
I have 1309 contacts in gmail, included old friends, subscriptions, people I don't like , people I've dated , etc. They all just received this....

Hi,
I looked for you on Reunion.com( notice it says i "looked for you"..like im some crazy stalker!) but you weren't there. I use Reunion.com to search for lost friends and contacts, and to stay connected with people I know, so please connect with me.
—Kimberly

RESPOND TO KIMBERLY:Connect with Kimberly Now!( link was here) - You'll also find out if anyone else is searching for you.


Reunion.com - Life Changes. Keep in Touch.™ You have received this email because a Reunion.com Member sent an invitation to this email address. For assistance, please refer to our FAQ or Contact Us. Our Address: 2118 Wilshire Blvd., Box 1008, Santa Monica, CA 90403-5784


EVERYONE!!!
Can you say mortified? Good thing is you actually have to sign up to see my profile, which I have since deleted. And Kimberly Smith is a pretty common name, or that's what I keep telling myself. F*#K!

NEWSLETTER: March/April

...this was the last newsletter sent out in April...

StripXpertease
April/2008
Hello ladies!As you might have noticed, there wasn't a March newsletter. Sorry, we were busy! So much has happened over the past several weeks!

>First of all, we have hired and fully trained two new instructors in New York. I want to welcome Naomi and Cheri on board. Check out their pics/bio here.
>Also, we had the grand opening party of Free Spirit Dance Studio in Austin. It was an amazing event and a ton of fun. The studio is gorgeous and SXT classes are now in full swing there.
>We also did taping for some great press coverage. Our Stripper Strength classes, Free Spirit, and Saralynn were covered in the morning segment on KVUE news in Austin for Fitness Fridays. It was a great clip. Check it out here. Also, I was on BETJ's show My Two Cents on Monday giving lap dance instruction and speaking a bit about our classes. (You might be able to catch it in re-runs.)
>We have also added another Stripper Strength class in NYC (Tuesdays @ 7:40 pm starting May 6th) and the Risque Rehearsal is back in June which is basically a review class for anyone who has ever taken a class with us and then realized they forgot everything a few weeks later....lol.

On a side note, I myself had had a pretty eventful month. I was involved in the whole American Airlines debacle and was delayed THREE days getting back to New York. Believe me when I say it was an exercise in patience. But I returned to a much warmer NYC, and was pleasantly reminded that spring is upon us. And as you know, spring is the time for shirtless boys. Ahhh, spring. The picture is for your enjoyment. Yummy.

See ya in class,

xoxoxo

-Kimberly

kimberly@stripxpertease.com

P.S. Wedding season is upon us. Book SXT for the perfect bachelorette party, or sign up for private lessons to blow your hubby's mind on your wedding night!




April-May Schedule
Note: To ensure a spot in class, please try to sign up at least 1 week in advance.


Ok ladies, spring is here and it's time to do some spring cleaning...in your schedule, that is. Be sure to clear out some space to do something for yourself! Whether it is tightening your tush in Stripper Strength or rediscovering your racy side in the Desire Series. Then you can put on that french maid costume and show him what spring cleaning is really all about.

All tickets are pre-pay. Purchase tickets here.

NYC

APRIL
THIS WEEK!! Basic Moves Intro: April 24th Thursday 7:00-9:00 pm @ Ripley Grier
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl; Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier; Sundays 2-3 pm at You Should Be Dancing
THIS WEEK!! Desire I Cram: April 27th Sunday 4:10-8:00 pm @ Champions

MAY
Basic Moves Intro: May 10th Saturday 3:00-5:00 pm @ Pearl
Basic Moves Intro: May 29th Thursday 7:00-9:00 pm @ Pearl
Lap Dance Intensive: May 15th Thursday 7:15-9:15 pm @ Pearl
Desire Series I Cram: May 17th Saturday 12:10-4:00pm @ Pearl
Strip Club Field Trip: May 8th Thursday 8pm (Location revealed upon sign up)
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl; Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier; Sundays 2-3 pm at You Should Be Dancing
*New class added! Stripper Strength Tuesdays 7:40-8:50pm @ Pearl
*Risque Rehearsal coming in June!

AUSTIN ...all classes are held at Free Spirit Dance Studio

APRIL
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm, Thursdays 6:00-7:10 pm

MAY
Basic Moves Intro: May 14th Wednesday 7:00-9:00 pm
Basic Moves Intro: May 31st Saturday 2:00-4:00 pm
Lap Dance Intensive: May 9th Friday 8:00-10:00 pm
Desire Series I Cram: May 3rd Saturday 2:00-5:45 pm
Strip Club Field Trip: May 21st Wednesday 9:00 pm (Location revealed upon sign up)
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm, Thursdays 6:00-7:10 pm

PRICES AND LOCATIONS

Austin: FREE SPIRIT

NYC: RIPLEY GRIER, CHAMPIONS, PEARL

Basic Moves Intro: $45 for one ticket, $80 for 2

Desire Series: $90

Strip Club Field Trip:$30

Stripper Strength: Drop ins are $20, but you can buy a punch card and save $. (1st class is fr*ee in Austin until April 30th) Private Lessons: $90 & upPrivate Parties: $150 & up

The Perfect Striptease Song

Students are always asking me what the perfect song should be for their striptease. I always direct them to the StripXpertease blog. There is a search box in upper left hand corner, and if you type in "songs to strip to," you can see all of our suggestions. The problem is, there isn't a perfect song that will fit everyone. So I thought I would share some tips on finding the right song for YOU.First of all, we need to change the language. It isn't the perfect song, it is the perfect songs. If you are dancing just for yourself, then the possibilities are endless. Try to find a song that conjures up emotion. It can be fast or slow, but beginners should always stick with slower songs. However, most of you are asking about songs because you want to perform for a loved one, and that is a totally different story.

First you need a CD or playlist of several songs. The first four are the most important. Song number one is the "anticipation" song. Sit your lover in a chair and put in your cd (or iPod/iTunes play list) and push play. Then walk away into the other room. Give him (or her for all my lovely lesbians) a full song to wait for your entrance. This song should be slow and sexy. Also watch the lyrics. For instance In the Air Tonight has a great beat, but the lyrics are a little heavy, so I wouldn't use it. Choose a song that talks about s*x and preferably one that builds. I think D'angelo's Untitled(How Does it Feel) or Romantic by Goapele is a perfect song to use. The second song is when you make your grand entrance. This has to be your favorite because this is where you do the most dancing. The lyrics need to make sense for the situation, so no songs about breakups, fights, or anything depressing. For instance, I love dancing to Bad Girl by Madonna and Hey Joe by Jimmy Hendrix, but the lyrics aren't very inspiring for your honey. I truly believe this song needs to be slow. Especially for beginners. You also want to try to find a song that builds or changes through out. A song with a repetitive beat will lead to repetitive dancing.

Here are some of my faves in different genres and time periods.

Come Undone ...Duran Duran

In Your Room ...Depeche Mode

Black Cherry ...Goldfrapp

One in a Million ...Aaliyah

Jungle Fever ...The Chakachas

Summertime Rolls ...Jane's Addiction

On the Hunt ...Lynyrd Skynyrd

Let's Stay Together ...Al Green

Brown Skin ...India Arie

Bed ...J. Holiday

Is This Real ...Lisa Hall

Strangers ...Portishead

Glory Box ...Portishead

Purple Rain ...Prince

Say Yes ...Floetry

Comfortably Numb ...Pink Floyd

Father Figure ...George Micheal

Again, try to find something with a slow or heavy beat. And NEVER lipsynch. I mean seriously. The third song should be just as good as song number two. You might find that you only want to dance to one song, but if you decide to go further into song three, then it will need to be just as sexy as song two. Any songs after that can be a little off track. Hopefully by this time you will be doing something else besides dancing ...if you get my drift. Just make sure to put the cd or playlist on repeat. And again for those who don't have a partner, just find a song that makes you feel, whether it is anger, happiness, or sadness. Then just put that emotion into the song.

My current fave to dance to is Ghost of You by Chemical Romance. Lately I have been getting back to my rock roots. Other current faves, Noticed by Mute Math or anything by 30 Seconds to Mars. Some of my past favorites have included, Jamie's Got a Gun by Aerosmith, Doll Parts by Hole, Drive by The Cars, Love Bites by Def Leppard, Stripped by Depeche Mode, Regulators by Warren G, Whats it Gonna Be by Busta Rhymes, Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, How Do You Want It by 2Pac, and several old school Prince and Madonna songs.

We use several cds in class and students always go back to these as their faves: Glorybox, Portishead/ Come Undone, Duran Duran/ Say Yes, Floetry/ Closer, India Arie/ Feelin' Love, Paula Cole/ Teardrop, Massive Attack/ Come Here Boy, Imogen Heap. So find your perfect song and start listening to it over and over again. Once you know it backwards and forwards, then dance your heart out!

STRIPXPERTEASE INFO

Private Lessons & Public Classes: Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Stripper Strength Strengthening Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Field Trips, Practice/Performance Class, Pleasure (Toy) Parties

Sign up for private lessons/public classes here.

See all class descriptions here.

CONTACT US:

WEB: StripXpertease.com

PHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831

EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.com

Studio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.In-home classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. In home classes also available in NY, Northern New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an additional travel fee.

FEEL FREE TO FORWARD ONTO FRIENDS
You can see previous newsletters on our blog

Secret Special: Contact us to set up a private party or lesson and mention the Secret Special. If you place your deposit for that party between April 23rd and 24th you'll save 10%. (A savings of up to $40)Newsletter

Give-Away: There was a band mentioned in the previous article about the perfect striptease song. They are one of my faves, and they have a new album coming out in a week. It is the 3rd album they have released. Who is it, and what is the name of the album? First one to correctly guess gets a free pass to a Basic Moves 2 hr Intro Class of their choosing.

The winner from the February newsletter was Paul S.

Strippers dating customers.

Did I do it ? (I hear this one a lot.)

Well, ...define "date."

From my experience and the stories of others, there are 5 different kinds of strip club customer-dancer dating.

1. First, there is going out with a customer strictly for money, with nothing SEXUAL. I did this a few times, but generally hated it. Because you had to be "on" all night. You know, you had to be that personality that they liked the entire evening. That is hard work!! It was usually just dinner, usually several hundred dollars. I only did this the last year I was dancing. A lot of girls do this with their best regulars.





2. Then there is going out with a regular because you honestly like him, and he isn't skeezy, and you have a good time. It isn't sexual AT ALL outside the club, just 2 people hanging out like friends. He might pay for some stuff but you pay for a lot yourself too. I have done this a lot. Including a trip to Vegas and several concerts.





3. Then there are the guys that pay you, that you actually really like and you wish they weren't paying you. But that only happened once, and he was married. I felt bad about it afterwards, even though again, there wasn't any sexual contact. I was still very young, under 21 I believe. We went shopping, smoked out in his car, and went to dinner. I still have the dress he bought me... although I doubt I can fit into it.





4. Then there are the few that you are really attracted to, you go out with, they don't pay you, and it is sexual. There were only 2 guys like this for me. One I loved. I mean I actually fell in love with him, and I have only truly been in love with 3 men in my lifetime. We can call him Billy. Billy was hot. And I was feeling spicy. It was the last dance of the night, and I was trying to get a buyer. He took me up on my offer and at the end of the dance, which was hottttt, I said, "You should come back, and you should be single." I think I bought him a shot too and had it sent to his table. We went out for a while. At the time I was in an open relationship with the boy. I should have dumped the boy and stayed with Billy, but it ended up being the other way around. I still regret that. Then there was another, we'll call him Kevin. Ahh Kevin...ha ha. Kevin pursued me hard. He was young, athletic, overly confident, and a bit of a prick, which of course I liked. I finally gave in. He was a stallion and an amazing lover. (Oh, this is the guy that bought me the rabbit!!) We had a lot of fun, and a lot of hot nights, but it never turned into anything overly romantic. I actually saw him recently in Austin. Still yummy. Some day I will tell you ladies about what he calls "The Cobra."
   



5. Then there are the girls that actually do go out and perform "favors" for money. I knew some of these girls. But this just wasn't my bag. Of course, it was offered a lot, but I always said no. Once there was this guy who would come in every week and up his offer to sleep with him by a grand...crazy. But still I said no. Even a stripper has her boundaries. :)

Kimberly playing around at Free Spirit Studio

This is me playing around at Free Spirit with Saralynn after a class. She is recording this on my phone..lol. This is pretty much the floor routine from Desire II. And the song is Feelin' Love by Paula Cole....love that song!

Sex positions ..animated

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Getting grabbed in NYC night clubs

OK. So I am out last night and I get up to go to the bathroom at a crowded NYC bar/dance floor. On my way back, the crowd has gotten a little tighter, so I just have to kind of barrel my way through. I typically do this with one arm up shielding my face, using that elbow to cut the crowd. So I am banging and bumping my way through when I get grabbed. And not my ass...my crotch. And here is how you know it isn't accidental: there is definite cupping and then the guy always looks back. So I start yelling, "What the f*#k, dude? Really?" His friend is now trying to get in my face, which is funny because it is like oh, your friend can't kick my ass but you can? What, you want to fight a girl? This all happens as I am nearing my table so it is pointless to pursue it. But it brings me to my question, or questions.

1. What does he think will happen? That I will reach back for him and we will dry hump on the dance floor?


2. And does this happen to everyone else? I have to say, I went out a lot in Austin and occasionally got the butt grab, but the lower frontal grab seems to be only in NY. And it happens a lot. Seriously, wtf?

"But Its Better If You Do"

Lyrics to "But Its Better If You Do" by Panic at the Disco. This song is cute, and it makes me laugh.

Now I'm of consenting age,
To be forgetting you in a cabaret.
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque
queen,
May even ask my name.
As she sheds her skin on stage,
I'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the clubs PA.
The strip joint veteran sits two away,
Smirking between dignified sips,
Of his dignified peach and lime daiquiri.

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me?
I'm exactly where you like me.
You know, praying for love in a lap dance, And paying in naivety.
Oh I'm exactly where you like me.
You know, praying for love in a lap dance, And paying in naivety.

Ohh.
But I'm afraid that I, well I may have faked it.
I wouldn't be caught de-dead-de-dead-de-dead in this place.
Well im afraid that i, well thats right well i may have faked it.
And i wouldn't be caught dead in this place.

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me?
I'm exactly where you like me.
You know, praying for love in a lap dance, And paying in naivety.
Oh I'm exactly where you like me.
You know, praying for love in a lap dance, And paying in naivety.

But I'm afraid that I, well I may have faked it.
I wouldn't be caught de-dead-de-dead-de-dead in this place.
Well im afraid that i, well thats right well i may have faked it.
And i wouldn't be caught dead in this place.

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me?
I'm exactly where you like me.
You know, praying for love in a lap dance, And paying in naivety.
Oh I'm exactly where you'd like me?
I'm exactly where you'd like me.
You know, praying for love in a lap dance,
And paying in naivety.
Praying for love,
And paying in naivety.
Praying for love,
And paying in naivety OH.

Match.com and internet dating...part I

Since this is something I have been discussing a lot with you gals lately in class, I thought I would talk more about it here. Because you single gals really need to jump on this ride!!

Yes, as most of you who I see often know, after 10 years of on again off again, things are finally really over with "The Boy"....yep, the boy from Texas. So, I am dating again. And let me tell you, it ain't easy! But since I starting dabbling it has gotten easier. And due to the busy life I lead I have been sticking to internet dating, which again, hasn't been easy. But after a year of on again off again on this ride, I have figured out a few things and have finally gotten the hang of it.

Here is how it all started...

So, things starting souring with the boy in late summer of '06. And I was like screw this, I am dating other people! But due to the stresses of StripXpertease I had negative free time. Also, meeting guys in a bar was always weird for me. This was typical:

We meet, he buys me a drink, we chat, and then this happens...
him: so what do you do for work?
me: (internally: oh shit here we go...) well, I uh, teach dance.
him: oh yeah, that's cool. like hip hop or like tango...
me: i teach women (internally: can i really avoid any further questions?)
him: oh yeah? what exactly?
me: (internally: guess not!) I teach umm striptease.
him: wow (with like a head nod and a good look up and down) that's cool.
me:(internally: please don't ask how i got into it)
him: so, how did you get into it?
me: (internally: of course!) well, i used to be a dancer.
him: ohh, like that kind of dancer
me: yep, like that kind of dancer.

And then ladies, it just gets weird. Their demeanor would change and you know it was just awkward for me. So I said OK, bar scene is weird, and I don't have time for it anyway, so what is a girl to do? Then there was one of those E-harmony commercials. I thought OK!! My roomie said that because the sign up process was long and it cost on a monthly basis that I should give it a shot. That there should be quality guys. I said, I am in and joined the masses of daters in September of '06.

Let me just tell you, E-harmony majorly sucked for me. I will tell you more about that later. But during my E-harm run, a close friend had signed up with Match.com. She said it was like shopping, but for boys. She said you can look and look and try on, but you don't really have to buy. Well hell, I love shopping, so in December '06 I signed up for a 6 month run on Match. Again, it was terrible. I met one guy that I actually liked and it quickly became totally f*&^ed up. I mean, ....well ...that will have to be another story. Anyhow, I ended up patching things up with The Boy, realizing that the dating world sucked and none of them could compare to him anyway (yeah, yeah, f'in hindsight).

Well almost 1 yr to the day of the first major problem with The Boy that sent me running to e-harm, there came a second one, last summer. In my heart, this one could not be forgiven. We tumbled along until ....well, again another story. Any-who, right as the last sparks were dying and the painfully lonely holidays were rolling through I got an email from Match. It said 6 months for the price of one. I said screw it, lets give it one more go. And it has been really amazing! I haven't gone on a ton of dates yet, but the ones I have have been great and I have met some men that I really like. There is one in particular, but again, more on that later. I think I have learned how to use the system and how to meet guys that will end up not being jackholes. Guys that I will actually like and that will hopefully like me. I will tell you all more about what I have learned, but for now single gals sign your ass up, and I will be in touch about my latest adventures on the search for Mr. Right...or at least Mr. right now :).

Lace 2 and partying with the boys

Ok...so this is where I ended up after a night of partying on New Yrs Eve. http://www.laceclubs.com/lace2.asp ...Lace 2. Cover was $40 bucks. And boy, this place is frickin" tiny!! Now I have been to Lace in NJ, but this was very different. And I have to say Hustler is still my fave in NYC. I mean it was New Yrs Eve, but still, the service was reallly bad. But it was because they had ONE waitress. And as anyone knows on a holiday like NYE she is going to be forced to party with the boys. It was obvious she had been partying. Poor girl. I would have had a hard time too. She was sweet, but definitely wasted, but then again so was everyone else in there!

You see, men in strip clubs love for girls to party with them. Whatever "party" means for them. But usually that means drinking....shot for shot with them. There were times in my career that I tried not to drink, just to give my poor liver a break. But every time I would make less money. Because guys would actually send you away.

Say you sat down with a table. You are laughing, getting along, and then the waitress comes over to take everyone's drink order.

...Jack and Coke, shot of 1800, Heineken,... and for the lady???

Uh, yeah, I will have a Sprite.

Then it was like one of those cartoon moments when all the guys look at you in unison. "A sprite?!?" Then their eyes start shifting, "Hey honey, get your drink and then come back a little bit later, ok?" Yeah, I knew what that meant. I would get the obligatory smack on the ass and sent on my way, only to see 3 other girls there in a matter of moments drinking with the 3 stooges. And it was like that table after table. I could fare a little better with single guys but groups, forget it. More often than not, you better be ready to party hard or move along.

I think it is because they really do want you to party with them...to be on the same level. They think if your are drunk, then it is less like you are working, less like all you want is their money. But the truth is, drunk or not, I still wanted to make money. But I also think some where in their head it is like being at a real club. They think if I can get this girl drunk, then maybe we can have a little fun. And hell, I am not saying that that hasn't worked on occasion for certain guys and certain dancers. But for the most part it is the same whether your dancer drinks or not. In fact it is usually bad for you to try to get her drunk, because she does this every night and she can usually drink your ass under the table. Then it is you who gets drunk and taken advantage of. It's like the old saying you can't get laid in a strip club, but you sure can get f*#ked. :)

My sexy stocking guy

There was a man who used to come see me. He was older, slightly balding, short...and yet I found him to be strangely sexy. He was always well dressed and very well spoken. He was also in to the S&M scene. I actually learned a few things about that world from him. He looooved thigh highs. I suppose that might of been why he started asking me to come over to his table because I often wore them. Anyhow, one day he actually brought a pair into the club. In a brown bag. He pulled them out and I thought. YAY! How sweet.

Truth is with thigh highs they get snags in the club sooo often. I mean your grinding your shin against various crotches with buttons and zippers. You are on the stage floor, full of splinters. And then their own your own nails, culprit numero uno. So I was stoked that he actually bought a pair. It was no big deal, customer brought in little gifts all the time. But he had special request. He wanted me to put them on ...in front of him. OK. No biggie. It was a simple request. I remember the first time I was like, "Oh shit, what if my feet smell bad?!" Let me tell you stripper shoes can start to get a little stinky. I mean you wear them every night, your feet sweat, and you often get drinks spilled on you and down into your shoe, so all that can make for a bit of the funk. But luckily I was all good. Not that I think he would have minded anyway.

So of course I put them on. Dragging the event out so that he could soak in every moment. It was funny to watch him watch me slowly slide them up. Maybe that is what I liked about him, that I could have this crazy power over him with just a little nylon. He always wanted to sit in the back of the club so that no one could see him. I wondered if he was ashamed of his little fetish. If he only knew the fetishes I had seen in this joint. This was normal baby.

But this became our routine. He didn't really get dances but he would pay me for our little stocking soiree. Worked for me, easy money and free stockings. I wonder where he is now...

NEWSLETTER: February

StripXpertease
February/2008
Due to a leap year, we get one extra day before we say goodbye to February. The month for love, groundhogs, and dead presidents. I, for one, am glad that Valentine's Day is over, because I have a love/hate relationship with this holiday. But whether you love it or hate it, it always comes around, every year, tempting us to top the year before with romantic get-aways, sexy lingerie, and a night filled with passion to rival all other nights. To me, it seems like a big competition for who has the most romantic boyfriend/husband. Bah! Here is how I see February. We only need one holiday! Combine all 3 holidays, call it Ground Presi-tine's Day, and make it a national holiday so that we can stay home from work and be romantic with our loved ones groundhog style! Yeah! Seriously ladies, write your congressman.
Regardless, I hope that this year was good for you, whether you spent it with your honey, your best friends, or alone with those yummy boys, Ben and Jerry! The point is, Valentine's Day is over. The pressure is off. Time to grab your heels, get into class, close your eyes, feel the music, and just let the sexy just flow.

See ya there.

xoxox-Kimberly

SXT News!

For Texas ladies, Stripper Strength will now also be offered on Thursdays at 8 pm starting March 20th. And for New York gals, the Tuesday class has found a permanent home at Pearl Studios starting March 5th.
To help with any confusion, the Desire Series will now be in sections I, II, III, and IV. If you have already had classes and are confused about which series to take, email me and I will help you out.
We now are offering the Lap Dance Intensive and the Strip Club Field Trip in Texas.
And finally, we now have a referral program for private lessons! If you refer 4 friends that each book a private lesson, whether it is just for themselves or for a group such as a birthday or bachelorette party, you will receive a fr*ee in studio private lesson for yourself!

March-April Schedule
Note: To ensure a spot in class, please try to sign up at least 1 week in advance. New Class Schedule Locations are listed on the Rates/Schedule page. Location details on Contact/Location page.

NEW YORK CLASSES
March
Basic Moves Intro Class: March 1st, Sat. 6:15-8:15 pm SOLD OUT
Basic Moves Intro Class: March 31st, Mon. 7-9 pm, TBA
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl, Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier ***first class is fr*ee!
Stripper Strength short class (55 minutes): Sundays 2 pm @ YSBD
Desire I: March 5th-19th, Wednesdays, 6:10-7:20 pm @ Champions
Desire I Cram: March 8th, Sat. 12:10-4:00 pm SOLD OUT
Desire I Cram: March 29th, Sat. 12:10-4:00 pm @ Pearl
Desire II: March 14th-28th, Fri. 7:10-8:20 pm @ Pearl
Desire II Cram: March 15th, Sat. 12:10-4:00 pm @ Pearl
Lap Dance Intensive: March 27th, Thurs. 7:15-9:15 pm @ Pearl
Strip Club Field Trip: March 20th, Thurs. 8 pm

April
Basic Moves Intro Class: April 12th, Sat. 4-6 pm, TBA
Basic Moves Intro Class: April 24th, Thurs. 7-9 pm, TBA
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl, Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier, ***first class is fr*ee!
Stripper Strength short class (55 minutes): Sundays 2 pm @ YSBD
Desire I: April 14th-28th, Mondays, 6:40-7:50 pm @ Pearl
Desire I Cram: April 19th, Sat. 12:10-4:00 pm SOLD OUT
Desire II: Dates coming soon
Desire II Cram: April 26th, Sat. 12:10-4:00 pm @ Pearl
Lap Dance Intensive: April 17th, Thurs. 7:15-9:15 pm @ Pearl
Strip Club Field Trip: April 10th, Thurs. 8 pm

AUSTIN, TEXAS CLASSES

March
Basic Moves Intro Class: March 3rd, Mon. 7-9 pm
Basic Moves Intro Class: March 29th, Sat. 4-6 pm
Lap Dance Intensive: March 14th, Fri. 7-9 pm NEW TEXAS CLASS!
Strip Club Field Trip: March 13th, Thurs. 8 pm NEW TEXAS CLASS!
Desire I: March 12th-26th, Wednesdays 7:00-8:10 pm
Desire I Cram: March 15th, Sat 2:00-5:45 pm
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm, Thursdays 8:00-9:10 pm (Thursday class starts March 20th)

April
Basic Moves Intro Class: April 12th, Sat 4-6 pm
Basic Moves Intro Class: April 16th, Wed. 8-10 pm
Lap Dance Intensive: April 19th Sat. 7-9 pm
Strip Club Field Trip: April 30th 8 pm
Desire I: April 14th-28th, Mondays 7:00-8:10 pm
Desire I Cram: April 26th, Sat. 2:00-5:45 pm
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm, Thursdays 8:00-9:10 pm

Remember, if these dates don't work for you, you can always sign up for a private lesson and take the class when it works for you! Day or night. Class Schedule HERE!

Prices:

Basic Moves Intro Class: $45, $80 for 2

Desire Series: $90

Strip Club Field Trip: $25

Lap Dance Intensive: $45, $80 for 2

Stripper Strength: 1st class is fr*ee. See website for class card prices.

Dymystifying the Strip Club

The strip club field trip is one of my favorite nights of the month. I love going back to the club as a customer. It is like visiting your old hometown. You see how much has changed and yet, how much remains the same. There are things you miss and things that you thank God you don't have to deal with anymore. But what I really enjoy is demystifying the club for girls who have never been. Showing them how sterile sexuality can be here and also how it can ooze from every surface. Revealing the inner workings, exposing secrets, and narrating the internal dialogue every stripper has in her head.
I think a lot of women are secretly dying to step inside. It is kind of like the boy's bathroom. You know it is there, you pretty much know what it looks like, but because it is a mysterious place that you never seem to be allowed to go, there is a little thrill when you step inside. Then you realize, oh, it's just a boy's bathroom. Big deal, and kinda gross!
I remember my first time walking into a strip club. There were breasts everywhere! Part of me just wanted to stare. I mean, never had I seen so many boobs running free. And so many perfect ones at that. Then part of me felt, no, you shouldn't look. It was a battle...look, don't look, hers are huge, you are supposed to look, don't gawk, look again, are those real? And then I witnessed a table dance. Wow! I actually used to think a table dance was done on the actual table. Well, she used the table but the only thing she was dancing on was him. I was also surprised by how the men were reacting. Some were totally mesmerized, others seemed to not even notice the flesh bouncing in their faces, some were even watching TV! I remember thinking the women were all so beautiful. How did they all hold themselves so well, with such confidence? How were they all just walking around naked, like no big deal? How did they all smell so good, have such perfect bodies, such smooth skin? How did they move so slowly, so seductively? How did they make every guy feel like he was the only one in the room. It all felt so magical.
Very soon, I would find the answers to all of those questions. My first year of dancing reflects that childhood memory of discovering how your uncle really pulls a quarter out of your ear. I discovered that it was all smoke, mirrors, and sideshow magic. I also discovered how entertaining and empowering it could be to become the magician.
The great thing for me is even after seeing the man behind the curtain, that magic is still there. Just as even when you learn that the quarter never really leaves his hand but is merely hidden, you still enjoy the trick. I think this is what brings so many men back again. They know how the trick works, but it is still a pretty good trick. There is something so arousing and forbidden about this world where you can be a voyeur or even participate in an atmosphere that intertwines music, writhing bodies, liquor, money, and the two sexes in a constant push-pull for control.
Strip clubs all across the United States are all the same. So if you really want to know what it is like, you simply have to go. A lot of couples and groups of women go on the weekends. Go and see for yourself. Or go with us, we go every month. The field trip is now going on in Texas and New York. Ask questions. Get a lap dance. And like the first time you see a real life magic show you will be awed, amazed, a little mystified, and you'll probably want to see it again.

Secret Special: Save 10% on a private lesson if you put down your deposit on March 3rd.

Give-Away: Be the first to correctly name the song and artist these lyrics belong to and win a free pass to the next Basic Moves Workshop of your choosing. From one of my old school favorite songs to strip to!She paints her eyes as black as night.....Good Luck!!

NEWSLETTERS: February Update

Hot Classes just in time for Valentine's Day!


Classes in NY and TX
Sign up to our extremely sexy classes to make your V-day a little steamier.
Remember, private lessons and our ultra sexy couples class are also available. Private lessons can be held at your convenience.

NEW YORK GALS: Basic Moves Intro class is this Saturday February 9th @ Ripley Grier Studios. This class will give you all the basics plus some hot and erotic lap dance moves like the Slip N' Slide. Sign up with your best gal pal and save. $45 for one, $80 for two. SIGN UP HERE

TEXAS GALS: Desire IA starts Feb 13th @ Free Spirit. 3 weeks of super fun class that ends with a smokin' routine that includes a sultry entrance and the famous Rear Finger Slide! $90 for all 3 weeks! Only one spot left. SIGN UP HERE
If these dates don't work for you, there are several other classes on the schedule including Desire IA Cram, Lap Dance Intensive, Strip Club Field Trip, and more.
MORE INFO ON ALL CLASSES HERE .

Stripper Strength is going strong in Texas and New York. Learn how to do the Spread 'Em and Ride 'Em Cowboy. Yee Haw! First class is always f*ree.
TUES in TX.
TUES, WED,& SUN in NYC
StripXpertease Info.
Private Lessons & Public Classes: Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Strengthening Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Field Trips, Practice/Performance Class, Pleasure (Toy) PartiesSign up for private lessons/public classes here.See all class descriptions here.

CONTACT US: WEB: StripXpertease.com
PHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.comStudio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.In-home classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. In home classes also available in NY, Northern New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an additional travel fee.
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