Another lap dance article

So I found this on Askmen.com titled

7 Lap Dance Moves To Make You Melt. my comments in italics :)

Women's magazines slip us the kind of information that we wouldn't find elsewhere; they reveal a female perspective that most men just aren't privy to. How they read into our behavior, how they perceive our actions, what their true expectations are... there's plenty to be learned from a glimpse into the other side. AskMen.com will be providing you with just this kind of gender intelligence -- without the embarrassment that comes with retrieving it from your girlfriend's magazine rack. We'll be publishing a series of features from iVillage.com; articles originally written by women for women, but with insight that's invaluable to men. Of course, in exchange, we had to offer up some intelligence of our own... all the more reason for you to get on the inside track as soon as you can.

dirty dancing

You know what kind of dirty little dances your gal can do to turn you on, but explaining them to her is a different story. iVillage.com gives you seven sizzling lap dance moves with descriptions that are simple for her to try. So sit back, relax and let her do all the work for a change. ..heyyy

naughty moves

Want to make your guy go gaga? It's not just about what you do in bed that counts. Sure, great sex technique will make you a star in his eyes, but knowing how to tease him will make you a legend. Don't believe us? In The Little Bit Naughty Book of Lap Dancing for Your Lover, real-life exotic dancer Rebecca Drury spills the seven secret -- and really sexy -- steps that work on every guy, every time. You can thank us later.

1- The Grinding Circle
Stand about 60 centimeters (two feet) from your partner, with your feet slightly more than hip-width apart and your toes turned out. With your hips, begin to draw a circle, keeping your back arched. Now slowly bend your knees and grind down as far as is comfortable, then up again, continually undulating your hips and dancing erotically. It's really important to keep your back arched and upright. If you lean forward, you risk impersonating a sumo wrestler. eww, no! don't turn your toes out ick. keep your feet shoulder width apart or closer and lift one heel when you do this. much better.
2- The Turn
Lap dancing is about showing off all your assets, so remember to turn around occasionally. For the best effect, turn slowly -- your lover should barely notice. When you practice, work out which direction is most natural for you to turn in. And don't be overly concerned with how you do it; just take small steps and aim to make the turn blend into and become part of your dance. Keep circling your hips and remember your arm movements. As far as possible, try to keep your lover in your gaze as you turn. this is kind of lame, but yeah you do want to give front and back views.
3- The Slap and Tickle
Turn your back to your audience, and with straight legs, bend forward slightly, look back at him coquettishly, and stroke or lightly slap your bottom. I guarantee this will make him smile. Alternatively, still with your back to him, gently sway from your ankles, opening your legs gradually. Slowly bend over so that your bottom is brazenly pointing at your man. Bend one knee to the side and straighten the other out to the other side. Glide your hand up the straight leg and raise your head over the corresponding shoulder to look back at him. Slap your bottom hard. Repeat on the other side. we actually have a move like this called the thigh high. good stuff. they love the ass slap.
4- The Lap Dance Grind
Gracefully dance yourself into the triangle made by your lover's open legs, and stand with your back to him and your feet together. Make sure you're as close to the chair as possible. Now bend your knees, keeping your back straight, and gently put your hands on your partner's knees. Lower your bottom toward his lap so that you can just feel his crotch on your skin. Then, keeping your hands on his knees for support, grind down gently, moving your hips in a circular or forward-and-backward motion. Look over your shoulder at your man while you do this, if you can. This is a little tricky, though. Take extra care whenever you go near his groin. If you hurt him, he'll never trust you to dance for him again. yes, yes, the grind. but try to use the arms of the chair for support and try to sit up straight, and toss your hair a bit too.
5- The Breast Stroke
Every woman has her own personal scent that collects between her breasts, no matter what size they are or what perfume she wears. It's a potent aphrodisiac. So this step is guaranteed to get your lover going. Move closely into the space between his knees. Standing with your legs straight, gently lean forward and place your hands on either side of the chair. Once you have a firm hold, push your breasts toward his face; his nose should be nestled in your cleavage. For added effect, try brushing from side to side and stroking the end of his nose with your bra or nipple. Keep moving in a provocative way throughout. yes again, but put your hands on his shoulders or cradle his head in your hands or one of your hands
6- Knee Strokes
Facing your partner, stand between his legs, as close to the chair as you can. Place your knees in the space between his crotch and the edge of the chair. Gently put slight pressure against his groin with your knees. Lean toward him and blow gently into his ear or on his face. You could even exchange a mouthful of wine with him or pour champagne from your nipples into his mouth. hmmm that sounds a bit to strip club vip room to me..lol As a variation, try this: Stand up facing your lover, then catch one of his knees between your knees and gently rub up and down his thigh. i think this one looks terrible. but whatever. This is a fabulous sensation; ask him to do it to you sometime.
7- The Body Slide
Standing between your lover's thighs, lean forward and put your hands on the back of the chair for support. Put one knee on each of his thighs, then lift your torso, slide your knees into the space in front of his crotch (careful here!) and slide, slowly, all the way down his body until you're kneeling on the floor in front of him. To get up off the floor, use your lover's knees for support and stand up sexily -- bring your bottom up first, then flick your hair in his face as you raise your upper body. this move is waaaaay more complicated than they describe it here and def takes some practice. this is a move that girls struggle with in the beginning in my class. it's a great move, but don't try this at home on him without practicing on someone first. seriously.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_150/169_dating_girl.html

I counted...over 150...

That's how many times I was contacted in just one month on Match.com. That's my profile pic by the way. This is why I was telling a recent girlfriend, you have to get on!!! Now, lady!! She is this amazing girl in this weird situation, which I can't really explain here. But she needs to find a man. Someone to appreciate her for who she is dammit!

So, how many did I respond to in that month, which was the 2nd to last month I had on Match(well, before they fucking auto renewed me)?
Two.
Yep. Well, in total, there were five guys I had correspondence with. Three that I had contacted first (I'm such a go-getter!) and two that contacted me first. I went out with 4 of them in that one month period (one of them stopped emailing me after a few exchanges...eh, who knows?).

So, here's how it played out..or how it's currently playing out...

• #1, who I contacted first, dropped me after 2 dates (I've briefly discussed him before... the second date got hot and heavy and he said he wanted to take it further but I wanted to wait. We had plans for Sunday and he never returned my calls. Nice.)



• I dropped #2, who again I contacted, after one date and many (waayyyy too many) IMs and phone calls. But to be fair, we made plans for a second date and he said he didn't realize we had made plans on the evening that we had plans, even though we had talked about it a few times before, turn off number one. Also, he was one of handful of musicians I reached out to in some masochistic effort to be driven away from match in disgust, semi-turn off number two. And he constantly analyzed our relationship, like really, a play by play thing, even though we had only been out once, yet another turn off. And he wanted to talk on the phone and IM all the time. I was looking for a relationship, not a pen pal. And as far as rescheduling a second date we couldn't even begin to get our schedules right. By the way he contacted me again, so to be fair I emailed him telling him I was seeing someone else and it wasn't gonna work. And I was very nice I might add. But I just got his very nasty response in email and in text. I am soooo biting my tongue on my description of him right now. Lord! We might have to save this for another entry.



• And #3, well, I liked him and we went out once. He contacted me. He had a crazy work schedule so it was hard to meet and not to long ago he asked me out again. I have to tell you ....and I regretted it as soon as I did it, but I said yes. I said yes because I was scared to death not to. Because you see, the other one, #4, who I contacted,... well... I'm still seeing him. And I really like this guy. But after the boy I am really scared of being hurt. I mean the can't breathe-eyes glued shut-stomach in your feet-cold sweat scared. I guess we all are in a sense. But this is the first time in a long time that I have really liked someone. And holy cow, it is scary stuff, because you want to put your self out there but then again you feel like you have to be guarded and safe. I felt like I needed to keep my options open in case #4 didn't work out. But after a sleepless night I realized that if I did really like #4 then I had to give it a chance without any distractions. And I do like him, so much, so I told #3 that I had to cancel, and that I couldn't see him for a second date, and I explained why. I felt bad...he's a really nice guy. And he responded back very nicely ...unlike someone else!
  

So we'll see. I am opening myself up, no back up plan, no back up man. I feel like my last relationship was so completely fucked up that anything that even slightly resembles normal is fantastic. But I'm definitely still playing goalie...

So for now I'm not responding to any more Match responses. But I still have a few stories to share. I just won't have any new ones for a while (...hell, I hope!). Seriously, what am I gonna talk about in the Wed. night Stripper Strength class...lol. But I still have a few old stories to share. Oh yeah, recently got an email from Simon. Can't wait to tell you about that one.

The lights in the dressing room at Victoria's Secret make me want to kill myself

So the other day I popped over to VS to pick up a little hot something. I was reminded again of how much they suck now. When it comes to moderately priced sexy/risque lingerie, Frederick's blows VS out of the water, and then drags them down the beach 20 miles. I mean really. Now don't me wrong, for well made expensive lingerie, neither one of these places do the job. But lets say I don't want to pay 100 bucks for a bra, or 10 for that matter, then this is the place.

So, I find a few things that weren't grandma bland, which happen to be from the Intimissimi line, which is an Italian line that doesn't even belong to VS. I wait in line listening to the clerks discuss their monotonous jobs of restocking. BTW, I always hate this part because I have underwear in my hand and I don't want the lady to look at me with that you sick bitch look and say, "You know you can't try those on." I mean, I know I can't. I feel like, why would I? But I also don't want to look like the lady who wants to try them on...maybe it's just me. So I separate the two bras from my stack and hold them out as she approaches as to say, just these, I don't want to try these panties on, I'm not crazy....Realizing as I'm shaking two bras at the clerk, I look a little crazy.

Of course she doesn't say a word, just shuffles me in the room. Cool. Their rooms are quite large, which I like. Nothing like being cramped when your trying to pull off your jeans that have become stuck to your body in the NY city street humidifier. Now even though the Intimissi line is good, the hangers are quite retarded. The hooks are just big enough to hang on your pinkie so I can't even hang the things up. I fluff my hair and then disrobe.

ICK!

Is this really what I look like? I turn, suck in, lean back. Holy cow, I am never eating bread again.

Ever.

I was so disgusted I wanted to throw on my top and run away, but I persevered. I stepped closer to the mirror, then further away, then to the right, to the left. Dammit!

I found one thing I liked and split. The feeling of disgust lingered as I left. As I waited to cross the street I spotted a Mr. Softy truck. WTF, if I look that bad, might as well have a fucking ice cream.

In my despair I decided to spend some more money. Retail therapy. I popped in to Filenes because we are in desperate need of more drinking glasses at my house. On my way up I saw the cutest blue top. I SO didn't want to try it on, but I forced my self. These dressing rooms were nasty. Small, doors were loud and squeaky, trash on the floor. But that fluorescent lighting made me look like Giselle herself compared to how I looked not 20 minutes before. Go figure.

So if you lighting designers at VS are reading this, you seriously need a redesign.

Next time I am ordering VS online.

Lap dancing in the club vs. lap dancing at home.

So, as you know I was a dancer for a decade. In that time, I only did a handful of bachelor parties, most of my work was at an actual club. Now, I teach women how to dance for their man in their own homes/hotels etc. Knowing that this would be different we did some research in the beginning on how dances would translate when you were using a couch, arm chair, bed etc. But this was 2 girls doing research. It wasn't 2 lovers experimenting. And recently I just realized it really is sooo much easier in a club.

You see I just had the opportunity to do an in-home dance for a guy, and it was much harder than I thought. I was trying to think of the last time I danced for a guy outside of work and I believe it was about 10 yrs ago. Most of the guys I dated actually went to see me work in the club and had dances there. And after I retired, I was mainly with one person who had seen me dance a million times, so it just wasn't something I did for him. And the other guys I dated, well, I didn't offer and they didn't ask. But recently the guy I'm seeing asked me to dance for him. My first thought was oh shit, I am so out of practice! Dancing in a studio or teaching a woman how to dance is much different that performing. Especially when you really like the person.



The first time was very short but the last time there was an actual full song or 2. In those few songs I learned a thing or two. First of all, I tell all you gals that carpet is bad, and I fully stand by that. It is sooo hard to balance in the stripper shoes on carpet. Secondly, in the club every chair is the same, so it is easy to maneuver your props, like the extra chair, the table etc. You know exactly how to lean, where to prop up your foot, etc. So here is some advice. If you are really planning to dance for your man, try to do a dress rehearsal with your best girlfriend. Let her sit where he would sit so you can experience what it really is like. Preparation really is key, from where you dance, to costume, to music. It really does make a difference. Mine was impromptu, but I know I could have rocked it better with a little prep. I also stand by the fact that arm chairs are the best, but a couch is ok if that is your only option. And my God, it is really hard to make him keep his hands to himself. Dammit! In the club it is easy as pie, they will get kicked out if they touch you, but in the privacy of your own bedroom, there are no bouncers, and you want him to touch you. So yeah, by far the hardest thing. We have mentioned tying up your man to do your dance. This might actually be a really good option. But I have to say, it was much hotter, for me anyway, than any dance I ever did in the club for someone I was seeing.



So, the dance was very steamy and definitely a turn on, for both of us. In class I always say, "And the last thing you do, at the end of your dance is....have hot sex!" And yeah, I still stand by that.. 100%.

Dating advice from a single guy.

So this guy has a lot of dating advice...esp for those onliners.

http://www.advicefromasingledatingexpert.com/

He says some interesting things, especially about the "trading up" phenom that happens with online dating, also how its easier for girls. His readers also have some good advice as well.

By the way, Match goddamn auto-renewed me. Bastards. I feel like I should show you gals some of these replies I get ... I mean they are bad. OK, this is my favorite recent one. Keep in mind I actually state that I own my own business teaching striptease on my profile.

Hi,
I saw your profile and was very interested in getting to know you. So how are you doing? Are you enjoying the weather? I see that you're an active person; do you like to dance Latin music or travel to Latin America? Born/growing up in New York, I first learned Spanish from my parents at home and English as soon as I went to kindergarten.
Wow, you run your own PR business! You know I worked my senior year in college as an office assistant in a PR firm. I did office work part time, my major was finance and investments.
What else can I tell you about myself? Ok, I work for an Investment Bank in Wall Street and live in Manhattan. I like to go out with friends, mainly lounges but once in a while I'll hit the dance floor. Also, I enjoy working out and bike riding around the city to keep fit. If you would you like to chat and learn more about me, then write me back.
Later,

Hmmm, my own PR business...yeah.

Eden Body Works vs Eden Fantasies

Ok, so last year, the boy was coming to town for a long weekend so I went to Eden Fantasys and bought a boat load of stuff, from toys to oils. Fun stuff! There were several things we hadn't tried before so I was super excited. So he came, and we had a hotel room, so needless to say we had a blast!

Now at the same time my hair was going through a time because I had put so much blonde into in a few months prior. On Oprah, I discovered Eden Body Works. It is a fab company started by teenager and their products were supposed to really heal your hair. So I order online and received the product. It really was great! The shampoo can burn if it gets in your eyes, but that's neither here nor there.

So a few weeks pass and I get a call from Eden asking me how I enjoyed my products. Well, at first I was shocked. I was surprised that a company that sells adult products would call their clients, but I was also delighted. This is pretty much what I said...word for word.

I love your products! And I have to say my boyfriend did too. He came to town for a long weekend, and we had so much fun! I absolutely love your website as well. By the way I teach women's striptease classes and I have been telling all my clients about your site and trying to get them to buy your products. I seriously can't wait to buy more. You guys have some really amazing stuff!"

She hesitated a little and said, "Well, thanks for choosing Eden Body Works. Have a great day." Her tone was slightly off and it made me pause for a moment.

Oh.

My.

God.

Eden Body Works, not Eden Fantasys. Great. I hung up the phone and immediately went through my script. What exactly did I say? Thank god I didn't go into great detail about this product that we tried. I would have been mortified!

NEWSLETTER: May 08

Hello ladies,

Once again, we are combining 2 months in this newsletter. We have been undergoing a lot of changes. I have discovered, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. You see, StripXpertease started out as a private lesson only company. We felt, and still do, that you, the student, learn better in an one-on-one setting as opposed to a group class. Also, we felt girls could be more relaxed if a group class consisted of only their friends. So we are going back to our roots and focusing on our private lessons. All of our previous classes will still be offered, but no longer in that group setting where you might not know the girl next to you. However, we will continue to offer the Basic Moves Intro classes in a public setting for those who want to see what we are all about before jumping into private lessons. And because we are cutting several classes, we are going to make it easier for you to take the Basic Moves Intro by lowering the price. Woo-hoo!
So....
The Desire Series and the Lap Dance Intensive will no longer be offered as public classes. You can still take these classes as private lessons however (individual or self formed groups).
Basic Moves Intro Classes are now just $35 for one ticket and $60 for 2!
The 2nd Stripper Strength class in NYC on Tues nights at 7:40 pm has been cancelled, but it has been replaced with our super fun new class Sexy Steps. You can also use your punch card for this class.
For 2 weeks only, Sexy Steps will be FR*EE! June 24th**TONIGHT! & July 1st.
Sexy Steps: Our new fitness/dance class will be offered Tues. night 7:40-8:50 pm at Pearl Studios. Come get in touch with and tone up your body with this sexy dance class. Half-workout/half jazz dance (think Pussy Cat Dolls), this class will get you working out and feeling sexy about your body. The first half of the class warms you up and tones you up and the second half you will learn a sexy dance routine. No dance experience necessary. This class is open to any and all women who are looking to explore their bodies through dance and/or get in shape in a fun way. Tennis shoes or bare feet for the first half of class, heels for the second (heels are always optional). So there you have it. I hope to see more of you in an one-on-one setting. And if you haven't checked out our intro class, now is the time. See upcoming dates below.
See ya in class,xoxoxo-Kimberlykimberly@stripxpertease.com
Check out my BLOG.
P.S. Wedding season is upon us. Book SXT for the perfect bachelorette party, or sign up for private lessons to blow your hubby's mind on your wedding night!

**please note we have switched all of our newsletter subscribers to Constant Contact. If you wish to unsubscribe please do so at the bottom of this email.



June-July Schedule
Note: To ensure a spot in class, please try to sign up at least 1 week in advance.


The dog days of summer are here. And if you are looking for a way to cool off...well, we can't help you. Cuz our classes are hot, hot, HOT! Hotter than a NYC subway station in July. Hotter than a car parked all day in the Texas sun. Hotter than...well, you get the picture. Our classes are hot! All tickets are pre-pay. Purchase tickets here.NYC
JUNE
Strip Club Field Trip: June 26th Thursday 8-11 pm (end time is approximated)**THIS WEEK!
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl
Stripper Strength: Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier
Stripper Strength short class: Sundays 2-3 pm at You Should Be Dancing
Sexy Steps: Tuesdays 7:40-8:50 pm @ Pearl**FR*EE for the next 2 weeks!
JULY
Basic Moves Intro: July 10th Thursday 7:15-9:15 pm @ Pearl
Basic Moves Intro: July 26th Saturday 2:15-4:15 pm @ Pearl
Strip Club Field Trip: July 31st Thursday 8-11 pm (end time is approximated)
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl
Stripper Strength: Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier
Stripper Strength short class: Sundays 2-3 pm at You Should Be Dancing
Sexy Steps: Tuesdays 7:40-8:50 @ Pearl
AUSTIN ...all classes are held at Free Spirit Dance StudioJUNE
Basic Moves Intro: June 30th Monday 7:00-9:00 pm
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm
Stripper Strength: Thursdays 6:30-7:40 pm
JULY
Basic Moves Intro: July 9th Wednesday 7:00-9:00 pm
Basic Moves Intro: July 19th Saturday 6:00-8:00 pm
Strip Club Field Trip: July 24th Thursday 9:30 pm (Meeting location revealed upon sign up)
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm
Stripper Strength: Thursdays 6:30-7:40 pm
PRICES AND LOCATIONSAustin: FREE SPIRITNYC: RIPLEY GRIER, CHAMPIONS, PEARLBasic Moves Intro: $35 for one ticket, $60 for 2 **new price!Strip Club Field Trip:$30Stripper Strength: Drop ins are $20, but you can buy a punch card and save $. Private Lessons: $110 & upPrivate Parties: $170 & up

The You Don't Know What I'm Doing Move Breakdown

This was always one of my favorite moves. So sexy. And it really gets him excited. Here is the breakdown for righties (lefties just switch right for left). This move works best with boyshorts.
Start about 3 ft away, facing him. Your legs need to be wider than shoulder width and locked (that means your knees are not bent).
Hook your left thumb into the waistband right above your hip bone. Keeping your thumb against your body, pull the waistband down below your hip bone.
As you are doing the Robert (one of our basic hip swivel moves) and One Handed Lotion, start to slide your right hand, fingers facing down, from your right breast down to your left hand.
As you do this, slowly pull the waistband open with your left hand.
Slip your right hand into the waistband up to your knuckles.
As your hand goes into the waistband, keeping legs locked, do a Circle Stripper Bend (bend down on the right side and sweep your body across in a half circle as if you were cleaning off a table with your chest) and move both hands directly over your crotch. You must bend down low enough so that he can't see what you are doing with your hands...he can only imagine.
After you complete the Circle Stripper Bend come back up to standing and move the left hand back to your hip bone.
Slowly move your right hand back up towards your face with fingers down. As your hands cross over your breast, point your fingers towards your face.
Bring your middle finger all the way into your mouth, and make eye contact as you suck on your finger. Finish with a naughty little smile. I'm sure he'll be smiling too.
To learn moves like the Robert and the One Handed Lotion, sign up for our Basic Moves Intro Class.
In This Issue
June-July Schedule
The You Don't Know What I'm Doing Move Breakdown

STRIPXPERTEASE INFO

Private Lessons & Public Classes: Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Stripper Strength and Sexy Steps Work Out Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Field Trips, Pleasure (Toy) PartiesSign up for private lessons/public classes here.See all class descriptions here.
CONTACT US: WEB: StripXpertease.comPHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.com
Studio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.In-home classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. In home classes also available in NY, Northern New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an additional travel fee.

FEEL FREE TO FORWARD ONTO FRIENDS
You can see previous newsletters on our blog
Secret Special: Contact us to set up a private party or lesson and mention the Secret Special. If you place your deposit for that party between June 26-27th, you'll save 10%. (A savings of up to $40)Newsletter Give-Away: You might have to do a little research on this one, so we're giving away 2 tickets to a Basic Moves Intro of your choosing. I worked at Expose in Austin, which is owned by the same guys who own Palazio in Austin, who also opened up a strip club here in NYC. What is the name of that club? Good luck!The winner from the March/April newsletter was Jennifer D. Congrats!

Another reason to love AP

I love Agent Provocateur. Their stores are a den of luscious fabrics and naughty delights. Not your mama's lingerie store! But recently I was browsing their site and saw yet another reason I love them. No airbrushing of the nipples and crotch. Beautiful! Another step forward in the march towards no shame about our bodies!

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/jodiewhite.html

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/classic_love.php

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/natashapink.html

Doesn't it make you just want to snatch up a new pair?

Walk of no shame..(aka the morning after)

This is just plain funny.

http://walkofnoshame.com/

Kiss n' tell....

So a girlfriend calls me today. One I am very close to, and tells me about her escapades last night. In great detail. I mean great detail (I think I was even a little turned on!). It just goes to show that women talk about their sexual adventures just as much as men do. I know a lot of men don't think we do, but with the right girlfriend, we do. She laid out the whole evening from the moment she walked in, to the bed, to breaking the bed, to the floor, to the bed again, to her large rug burn, to words used, positions tried, to where hands and fingers went, to how she feels today. Did I mention the detail, because that was the key. I admit, this was a fellow ex-dancer, so we are more free on our sexual discussions any way. I mean I have been pretty graphic with her about my late nights as well. But still, my other non dancer girlfriends have been equally forth coming...well maybe minus the penthouse forum details. But hell, that's why I love this girl! I just hope I never run into this guy, cause I'm gonna blush!

Match.com and internet dating...more tidbits

Yay! Some of you are signing up! So for those first timers I have a top ten list for you. OK. So from several bad dates and a handful of good ones. Here is the top 10 reasons that I would hit delete on a profile of someone that has contacted me, or someone I see in a search. By the way, my membership is soon running out, so this might be the last of them ladies...

1. No picture...yep, sure you are witty, nice, and can show a girl a good time, but when we meet you look like Steve Buscemi. And I am sorry Steve, you're just not my type.







2. Only one picture. You still look like Steve Buscemi, but you found and posted the one picture with that angle that makes you look like Brad Pitt.







3. Guys that live too far away....no, I am sorry, it simply won't work. I need to be able to just meet up with you on a whim and it won't work if you live in Westchester. (Austin gals, this is like your dude living in Round Rock if you live in Westlake.)







4. Guys that profiles make me say,"well, maaaayybe." I have learned that my gut is right! If you think he could maybe work out, it won't. There are sooo many guys on these sites!! Only communicate with ones that you really feel drawn to.







5. Listing how much money you make, especially of it is over 6 figures. That's gross.







6. Men that email before reading my profile or reading what I am looking for OR ones that do and say ..I know you don't want a guy in Westchester, but hey I live in Westchester.... No! That is what the likes and dislikes section is for. That is the beauty of this. You can just put it out there. I don't like guys who are A, B, & C. So if you are A,B, or C, then just pass me over. ...It really is simple. (But oookay, to go against this, I have done the whole wink thing to guys who were looking for women younger than myself...but generally, if the say they dont want A and I am A, I don't try to reach out.)







7. Men who list the age range they prefer as up to 10 yrs younger, but never-ever-ever-EVER anyone older than themselves. Like a 32 yr old looking for women 22-32. Or a 36 yr old looking for 24-35. Yuck. ( see #7.. )






8. Men that list sarcasm as a turnoff. (which is one of the 10 or so odd things you can say are or aren't turn ons) You are turned off by sarcasm...really?






9. The freaking form letter email. God I hate this one. Put in a liiiiiittttttle effort, k?






10. And lastly, this is just me here. But guys with pictures of themselves and babies and kids. I get it, you like kids, but this just seems like you are trying too hard. Like all women wanna have babies and seeing you with your baby niece makes my ovaries yearn for you. On the flip side my friend hates when they have pics with other girls...esp hot girls. That doesn't bother me though.

And of course I used to delete all musicians, but I 've come around on that one, for now. We'll see.


Good luck ladies!

Strippers are part therapist/ part girlfriend/ part best friend/ part fantasy.

I am always surprising women when I say this. But, believe it, it is true. First of all, women in strip clubs make the majority of their money off of our regular customers. These are guys that come in regularly. A regular is this, the guy that can come in

• every day



• several times a week



• once a week



• once a month



• whenever he is town

I have had all of these. This was my bread and butter. My main income. And the majority of what you do to make money with regulars is ....talk. Yep, that is it. Talk. The really good regulars you don't even have to dance for. You just talk. About the news, the girls in the bar, the music, politics, the weather, dreams...you name it. You listen to their problems. You offer advice. In a sense, you become their therapist. It is a weird dynamic but it exists. I have had regulars cry, telling me about their problems.

Also in a sense, you become their girlfriend. Some one they can share their ups and downs with, laugh with, party with, flirt with. You would hear when they got a promotion or got fired, when they were upset or happy. And they want to know all about your life too. What you like and dislike, your ups and downs. Sometimes I divulged all, with others it was all BS. You have to become a pretty good liar, keeping up with which guy you told which thing too.

You also become their fantasy. If their girlfriend doesn't like anal sex, you talk about it. You learn what they are looking for, what they like, and you play to it. So with each regular you are something different. With one you are ultra smart, one you are ditsy, one girl next door, another, the dirty girl. With one you might be demure and quiet, with another you're loud and brazen. You become multiple characters. One of the hardest acting gigs I ever had. Maybe that's why I was good at it. Or maybe its because I am a Gemini....which one am I today?

New Betty!! Something borrowed something blue..

They have done it again, and just in time for wedding season. A blue betty dye!

Check out the great deals at bettybeauty!

Match.com...an update

Well, I can't say it's all been roses. But I have learned about myself, why I am dating, and what I want. Look, I am sooooo not looking to get married and have kids, I just want a best friend, who I can be intimate with. A partner in crime, a shoulder to lean on, someone to take care of, some to love and love me. Someone to dance for!!!

So...the names have been changed....to protect the innocent and the plain stupid (PETER!)

So, lets see, the first time I signed up, my first date was with a shrink, lets call him Oscar. Intelligent, sexy, mysterious. We did the whole long email exchange, talk on the phone thing, and then set up a coffee date. The first thing he said on the date turned me off. He said he didn't get why people went to see live music....umm, yeah, see ya. It ended there.

Then I met another dude, for coffee...forgot his name. He went to Burning Man a lot which I thought was awesome, but I wasn't drawn to him, so it ended there. Then I met a fellow entrepreneur, let's call him Sonny. He was nice, good looking, driven, but lived in Staten Island, which was just too far and the chemistry felt forced. There was a second date, but not a third. Then there was Marc. Great first date, but he was too touchy-feely, and it killed it for me. I had a couple other uneventful 1st dates... one with a guy who reminded me of the ex..nooo, and one that made the first move a bit forced, so it turned me off. I suppose I wasn't that into any of these guys or maybe I just wasn't ready.

Those were all from my first time with Match/eharm, went back to "the boy" and ended my accounts. Of course, as you know, things ended again, so I went back, armed with a better knowledge of how it worked and what I wanted too. The first guy I met, we'll call Simon. We met the night before Valentine's Day on a whim, we hung out for hourrrs, had a lot in common including an obsession with a very cheesy yet AMAZING TV show, which I will not reveal. He asked me out again on V-day and I was on cloud nine. We had a whirlwind first week and he told me he wanted to take his profile down off of match. I freeeeaaked. Was I ready for that? I told him it freaked me out, and we still saw a lot of each other after that, but I think it was the beginning of the end. Not to mention he was never available due to crazy work hours. He was the first man I slept with since leaving the boy. Hell the first since I moved to NY, besides "the boy." Let me tell you, that was a HUGE step. Any how, after a month and a half it just fizzled out. I fought it for a bit, but then gave in. He was a really nice guy and I really hope he finds a girl that works for him. It obviously wasn't me.

So when things started to get weird with Simon. I started talking to other men. I figured he was dating other people , so why shouldn't I? I met Jack, he was older, in amazing shape, and a ton of fun. I felt as if I had known him for years. He just didn't have a care in the world. It was sooo refreshing! At the same time I also met Peter. Peter I really liked. He was handsome, extremely sexy, daring, an amazing kisser, smart, really into music, in fact used to work in the industry, but NOT a musician (YAY!). By the way, for those that don't know, "the boy" was a musician. So, we had an amazing week with several dates and then I had to leave town for a week. When I came back, he blew me off. Maybe its because I didn't sleep with him. Suuuucked. And Jack, well I still don't know what happened with Jack. For all I know we are still dating...lol. It was weird, but I know it would never really work out with him anyway because he is allergic to dogs. Yeah, not gonna work. I would love to be friends though, he really is a lot of fun. I met one other guy that I liked as well, but after two dates it ended...again after saying I wasn't ready to sleep with him...hmmm... pattern?

So, knowing my account was running out at the end of May, I decided to give it one-more-shot. I will not reveal all that is happening at the moment, but let's just say I am just going with the flow and I am pretty content. I just don't want to get my hopes up anymore only to be blown off. But I met another boy, no, I shouldn't say boy...man, I met a man.

You see, I decided after "the boy," NO MORE MUSICIANS, hell, no more artists, period! But that is who I love...and dammit, those are the ones who always break my heart. So, in my last month I set out to try one last stab at an "artist." (Something I had avoided like the plague. In fact, if I saw a guy with a picture of himself playing any kind of instrument, I immediately deleted!). I think I was subconsciously thinking it would end badly and it give me a reason give up on dating for a while. And so in my search I actually met an "artist." And so far, I like him. I really do. And so, yes, he plays an instrument...whatever! I am just so tired of being hurt. I can feel I am a little more closed, more guarded, more reluctant, but we will see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Kimberly playing around part II

Ok, so this is me again...with our advanced move "the Lolita" I love this song. "Whats It Gonna be" by Busta Rhymes.

Reunion dot com OMG

So I occasionally get emails from them saying so-n-so looked for me. I thought it would be interesting...old classmates, old gal pals, etc. So I signed up. For the free account. Although there was an option to purchase an upgrade. It said I could import my contacts and see who was on. I happen to have a gmail account, and lovely gmail saves anyone who you have EVER emailed as a contact.

So here is what the site does...it emails EVERYONE in my address book. EVERYONE.

OH.
MY.
GOD.
I have 1309 contacts in gmail, included old friends, subscriptions, people I don't like , people I've dated , etc. They all just received this....

Hi,
I looked for you on Reunion.com( notice it says i "looked for you"..like im some crazy stalker!) but you weren't there. I use Reunion.com to search for lost friends and contacts, and to stay connected with people I know, so please connect with me.
—Kimberly

RESPOND TO KIMBERLY:Connect with Kimberly Now!( link was here) - You'll also find out if anyone else is searching for you.


Reunion.com - Life Changes. Keep in Touch.™ You have received this email because a Reunion.com Member sent an invitation to this email address. For assistance, please refer to our FAQ or Contact Us. Our Address: 2118 Wilshire Blvd., Box 1008, Santa Monica, CA 90403-5784


EVERYONE!!!
Can you say mortified? Good thing is you actually have to sign up to see my profile, which I have since deleted. And Kimberly Smith is a pretty common name, or that's what I keep telling myself. F*#K!

NEWSLETTER: March/April

...this was the last newsletter sent out in April...

StripXpertease
April/2008
Hello ladies!As you might have noticed, there wasn't a March newsletter. Sorry, we were busy! So much has happened over the past several weeks!

>First of all, we have hired and fully trained two new instructors in New York. I want to welcome Naomi and Cheri on board. Check out their pics/bio here.
>Also, we had the grand opening party of Free Spirit Dance Studio in Austin. It was an amazing event and a ton of fun. The studio is gorgeous and SXT classes are now in full swing there.
>We also did taping for some great press coverage. Our Stripper Strength classes, Free Spirit, and Saralynn were covered in the morning segment on KVUE news in Austin for Fitness Fridays. It was a great clip. Check it out here. Also, I was on BETJ's show My Two Cents on Monday giving lap dance instruction and speaking a bit about our classes. (You might be able to catch it in re-runs.)
>We have also added another Stripper Strength class in NYC (Tuesdays @ 7:40 pm starting May 6th) and the Risque Rehearsal is back in June which is basically a review class for anyone who has ever taken a class with us and then realized they forgot everything a few weeks later....lol.

On a side note, I myself had had a pretty eventful month. I was involved in the whole American Airlines debacle and was delayed THREE days getting back to New York. Believe me when I say it was an exercise in patience. But I returned to a much warmer NYC, and was pleasantly reminded that spring is upon us. And as you know, spring is the time for shirtless boys. Ahhh, spring. The picture is for your enjoyment. Yummy.

See ya in class,

xoxoxo

-Kimberly

kimberly@stripxpertease.com

P.S. Wedding season is upon us. Book SXT for the perfect bachelorette party, or sign up for private lessons to blow your hubby's mind on your wedding night!




April-May Schedule
Note: To ensure a spot in class, please try to sign up at least 1 week in advance.


Ok ladies, spring is here and it's time to do some spring cleaning...in your schedule, that is. Be sure to clear out some space to do something for yourself! Whether it is tightening your tush in Stripper Strength or rediscovering your racy side in the Desire Series. Then you can put on that french maid costume and show him what spring cleaning is really all about.

All tickets are pre-pay. Purchase tickets here.

NYC

APRIL
THIS WEEK!! Basic Moves Intro: April 24th Thursday 7:00-9:00 pm @ Ripley Grier
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl; Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier; Sundays 2-3 pm at You Should Be Dancing
THIS WEEK!! Desire I Cram: April 27th Sunday 4:10-8:00 pm @ Champions

MAY
Basic Moves Intro: May 10th Saturday 3:00-5:00 pm @ Pearl
Basic Moves Intro: May 29th Thursday 7:00-9:00 pm @ Pearl
Lap Dance Intensive: May 15th Thursday 7:15-9:15 pm @ Pearl
Desire Series I Cram: May 17th Saturday 12:10-4:00pm @ Pearl
Strip Club Field Trip: May 8th Thursday 8pm (Location revealed upon sign up)
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 6:10-7:20 pm @ Pearl; Wednesdays 8:10-9:20 pm @ Ripley Grier; Sundays 2-3 pm at You Should Be Dancing
*New class added! Stripper Strength Tuesdays 7:40-8:50pm @ Pearl
*Risque Rehearsal coming in June!

AUSTIN ...all classes are held at Free Spirit Dance Studio

APRIL
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm, Thursdays 6:00-7:10 pm

MAY
Basic Moves Intro: May 14th Wednesday 7:00-9:00 pm
Basic Moves Intro: May 31st Saturday 2:00-4:00 pm
Lap Dance Intensive: May 9th Friday 8:00-10:00 pm
Desire Series I Cram: May 3rd Saturday 2:00-5:45 pm
Strip Club Field Trip: May 21st Wednesday 9:00 pm (Location revealed upon sign up)
Stripper Strength: Tuesdays 7:00-8:10 pm, Thursdays 6:00-7:10 pm

PRICES AND LOCATIONS

Austin: FREE SPIRIT

NYC: RIPLEY GRIER, CHAMPIONS, PEARL

Basic Moves Intro: $45 for one ticket, $80 for 2

Desire Series: $90

Strip Club Field Trip:$30

Stripper Strength: Drop ins are $20, but you can buy a punch card and save $. (1st class is fr*ee in Austin until April 30th) Private Lessons: $90 & upPrivate Parties: $150 & up

The Perfect Striptease Song

Students are always asking me what the perfect song should be for their striptease. I always direct them to the StripXpertease blog. There is a search box in upper left hand corner, and if you type in "songs to strip to," you can see all of our suggestions. The problem is, there isn't a perfect song that will fit everyone. So I thought I would share some tips on finding the right song for YOU.First of all, we need to change the language. It isn't the perfect song, it is the perfect songs. If you are dancing just for yourself, then the possibilities are endless. Try to find a song that conjures up emotion. It can be fast or slow, but beginners should always stick with slower songs. However, most of you are asking about songs because you want to perform for a loved one, and that is a totally different story.

First you need a CD or playlist of several songs. The first four are the most important. Song number one is the "anticipation" song. Sit your lover in a chair and put in your cd (or iPod/iTunes play list) and push play. Then walk away into the other room. Give him (or her for all my lovely lesbians) a full song to wait for your entrance. This song should be slow and sexy. Also watch the lyrics. For instance In the Air Tonight has a great beat, but the lyrics are a little heavy, so I wouldn't use it. Choose a song that talks about s*x and preferably one that builds. I think D'angelo's Untitled(How Does it Feel) or Romantic by Goapele is a perfect song to use. The second song is when you make your grand entrance. This has to be your favorite because this is where you do the most dancing. The lyrics need to make sense for the situation, so no songs about breakups, fights, or anything depressing. For instance, I love dancing to Bad Girl by Madonna and Hey Joe by Jimmy Hendrix, but the lyrics aren't very inspiring for your honey. I truly believe this song needs to be slow. Especially for beginners. You also want to try to find a song that builds or changes through out. A song with a repetitive beat will lead to repetitive dancing.

Here are some of my faves in different genres and time periods.

Come Undone ...Duran Duran

In Your Room ...Depeche Mode

Black Cherry ...Goldfrapp

One in a Million ...Aaliyah

Jungle Fever ...The Chakachas

Summertime Rolls ...Jane's Addiction

On the Hunt ...Lynyrd Skynyrd

Let's Stay Together ...Al Green

Brown Skin ...India Arie

Bed ...J. Holiday

Is This Real ...Lisa Hall

Strangers ...Portishead

Glory Box ...Portishead

Purple Rain ...Prince

Say Yes ...Floetry

Comfortably Numb ...Pink Floyd

Father Figure ...George Micheal

Again, try to find something with a slow or heavy beat. And NEVER lipsynch. I mean seriously. The third song should be just as good as song number two. You might find that you only want to dance to one song, but if you decide to go further into song three, then it will need to be just as sexy as song two. Any songs after that can be a little off track. Hopefully by this time you will be doing something else besides dancing ...if you get my drift. Just make sure to put the cd or playlist on repeat. And again for those who don't have a partner, just find a song that makes you feel, whether it is anger, happiness, or sadness. Then just put that emotion into the song.

My current fave to dance to is Ghost of You by Chemical Romance. Lately I have been getting back to my rock roots. Other current faves, Noticed by Mute Math or anything by 30 Seconds to Mars. Some of my past favorites have included, Jamie's Got a Gun by Aerosmith, Doll Parts by Hole, Drive by The Cars, Love Bites by Def Leppard, Stripped by Depeche Mode, Regulators by Warren G, Whats it Gonna Be by Busta Rhymes, Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, How Do You Want It by 2Pac, and several old school Prince and Madonna songs.

We use several cds in class and students always go back to these as their faves: Glorybox, Portishead/ Come Undone, Duran Duran/ Say Yes, Floetry/ Closer, India Arie/ Feelin' Love, Paula Cole/ Teardrop, Massive Attack/ Come Here Boy, Imogen Heap. So find your perfect song and start listening to it over and over again. Once you know it backwards and forwards, then dance your heart out!

STRIPXPERTEASE INFO

Private Lessons & Public Classes: Striptease, Lap Dancing, Floor Moves, Full Routines, Stripper Strength Strengthening Class, Couples Class, Lingerie Shopping Tours, Field Trips, Practice/Performance Class, Pleasure (Toy) Parties

Sign up for private lessons/public classes here.

See all class descriptions here.

CONTACT US:

WEB: StripXpertease.com

PHONE: 1.800.747.1462 OR 212.677.1831

EMAIL: info@stripxpertease.com

Studio Classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas.In-home classes available in NYC & Austin, Texas. In home classes also available in NY, Northern New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, San Marcos, and various other Texas cities for an additional travel fee.

FEEL FREE TO FORWARD ONTO FRIENDS
You can see previous newsletters on our blog

Secret Special: Contact us to set up a private party or lesson and mention the Secret Special. If you place your deposit for that party between April 23rd and 24th you'll save 10%. (A savings of up to $40)Newsletter

Give-Away: There was a band mentioned in the previous article about the perfect striptease song. They are one of my faves, and they have a new album coming out in a week. It is the 3rd album they have released. Who is it, and what is the name of the album? First one to correctly guess gets a free pass to a Basic Moves 2 hr Intro Class of their choosing.

The winner from the February newsletter was Paul S.

Strippers dating customers.

Did I do it ? (I hear this one a lot.)

Well, ...define "date."

From my experience and the stories of others, there are 5 different kinds of strip club customer-dancer dating.

1. First, there is going out with a customer strictly for money, with nothing SEXUAL. I did this a few times, but generally hated it. Because you had to be "on" all night. You know, you had to be that personality that they liked the entire evening. That is hard work!! It was usually just dinner, usually several hundred dollars. I only did this the last year I was dancing. A lot of girls do this with their best regulars.





2. Then there is going out with a regular because you honestly like him, and he isn't skeezy, and you have a good time. It isn't sexual AT ALL outside the club, just 2 people hanging out like friends. He might pay for some stuff but you pay for a lot yourself too. I have done this a lot. Including a trip to Vegas and several concerts.





3. Then there are the guys that pay you, that you actually really like and you wish they weren't paying you. But that only happened once, and he was married. I felt bad about it afterwards, even though again, there wasn't any sexual contact. I was still very young, under 21 I believe. We went shopping, smoked out in his car, and went to dinner. I still have the dress he bought me... although I doubt I can fit into it.





4. Then there are the few that you are really attracted to, you go out with, they don't pay you, and it is sexual. There were only 2 guys like this for me. One I loved. I mean I actually fell in love with him, and I have only truly been in love with 3 men in my lifetime. We can call him Billy. Billy was hot. And I was feeling spicy. It was the last dance of the night, and I was trying to get a buyer. He took me up on my offer and at the end of the dance, which was hottttt, I said, "You should come back, and you should be single." I think I bought him a shot too and had it sent to his table. We went out for a while. At the time I was in an open relationship with the boy. I should have dumped the boy and stayed with Billy, but it ended up being the other way around. I still regret that. Then there was another, we'll call him Kevin. Ahh Kevin...ha ha. Kevin pursued me hard. He was young, athletic, overly confident, and a bit of a prick, which of course I liked. I finally gave in. He was a stallion and an amazing lover. (Oh, this is the guy that bought me the rabbit!!) We had a lot of fun, and a lot of hot nights, but it never turned into anything overly romantic. I actually saw him recently in Austin. Still yummy. Some day I will tell you ladies about what he calls "The Cobra."
   



5. Then there are the girls that actually do go out and perform "favors" for money. I knew some of these girls. But this just wasn't my bag. Of course, it was offered a lot, but I always said no. Once there was this guy who would come in every week and up his offer to sleep with him by a grand...crazy. But still I said no. Even a stripper has her boundaries. :)

Kimberly playing around at Free Spirit Studio

This is me playing around at Free Spirit with Saralynn after a class. She is recording this on my phone..lol. This is pretty much the floor routine from Desire II. And the song is Feelin' Love by Paula Cole....love that song!

Sex positions ..animated

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